Just a moment. -Are you calling him? -Who, Roger Smith? You want me to call Roger Smith? l'm trying to get the manager to see if anybody knows anything about him. l'm sure he said the Grosse Pointe. l mean it wasn't him-- Who, his office? -Why don't we call his office and find out? -We could do that. l have a television crew down here with Michael Moore. He's supposed to meet Roger Smith at noon. l have no information. How often does Mr. Smith come here for lunch or dinner? Last time l saw him here was for Sportsmen's Night. -What's that? -lt's a wild game dinner. -You go and shoot your own animal? -Pardon me? You go and shoot your animals and bring them here to eat-- Some of the stuff is donated. There are foods like rattlesnake.... Let me think of some real exotic foods. Alligator. -You eat this stuff here? -Roast beef. That sounds better. I obviousIy had the wrong yacht cIub, because Roger was nowhere to be found. I didn't have more time to waste here, because back at FIint's county fair... thousands of peopIe were being entertained by the diving donkeys... anxiousIy awaiting the return of our boyhood hero... as he made his triumphant return home to FIint. From Genesee County Fair, the newIywed capitaI of the worId... here come the newlyweds! A big hand. This is your part.... There they come. Yes, it's The NewIywed Game... and these are our newlywed couples for today. Let's all meet the host and star of The NewIywed Game: Bob Eubanks! Hello, everybody. Welcome. How nice of you to come here today. Welcome to the opening of.... Hi, Mom. How are you doing? You devil, you! What about questions like, ''How heavy are your wife's breasts?'' l never ask that. l say, ''What does your wife's chest weigh?'' There's a lot of difference in that question you just asked.... A hell of a lot of difference. That's where l think we get a bad rap. People like yourself will quote a question like that. l wouldn't ask that question for anything. l wouldn't even say ''breasts.'' First question. These are easy questions. Ladies, how much did your husband say your chest weighs? -Gladys, what do you say, sweetheart? -Two pounds. Two pounds! He said six-and-a-half ounces. l said, ''Both of them.'' He said, ''That is both of them.'' l said, ''l'm sorry.'' He said, ''Not as sorry as l am.'' Bob was right. He didn't say ''breasts '' and I considered apoIogizing... for impIying that his show wasn't whoIesome famiIy entertainment. You know why Jewish women don't get AlDS? Because they marry assholes, they don't screw them. Pardon me. Ladies and gentlemen, that's all for this afternoon. lf l made you smile one time, l'm happy. l had a good time. l hope you did, too. Until next time. We'll be back every night.... l'm Bob Eubanks. So long, everybody. See you then. l was born here in Flint, but l don't know anything about it. l can only tell you this about this town: lt's pretty... and the people are nice. l don't know much about the economy, but l can take you to places in the U.S... much worse off than Flint, Michigan. l don't think it's such a bad town. With 30,000 jobs now eIiminated, the city decided to turn to the one event... that had aIways made us so happy.' the big parade... this time honoring the surviving FIint Sit-Down Strikers. The highIight of the parade was Miss Michigan, Kaye Lani Rae Rafko. Passing by dozens of boarded-up stores and hundreds of jobIess FIint citizens... she was an inspiring sight to aII present. How do you feel about the economy in Flint? The factories all shutting down? This isn't my interview yet. This is my time for enjoyment. AII kinds of important peopIe showed up to march in the parade... Iike the governor of Michigan, James BIanchard. How do you feel about General Motors closing up these factories in Flint? lt's tragic. Do you think we need another sit-down strike? That won't do any good. ------------------------------ Читайте также: - текст Муми-тролль и комета: Путь домой на английском - текст Отступники на английском - текст Анна Каренина на английском - текст Авалон на английском - текст Сердце Ангела на английском |