Why must everything in this country
be covered with...
"Monosodium glutamate."
You can't even say it.
I can say "rat droppings."
It does not mean I want to eat them.
Tomorrow, if you work well, you may have
a teaspoon full of honey in your rice.
But I make no promises.
You heard the sound of my flexor tendons
as I squeezed the trigger.
And I saw the flutter of your metacarpals.
Not bad.
That's two bullets. Child's play.
When you can avoid six bullets,
then you will have accomplished something.
No rice.
No rice?
You forgot the rice.
Maybe we can grow some.
Maybe you will spare me
your feeble attempts at humor...
and save them for the shopkeeper
at the corner.
He has excellent Chung-ju rice.
You used the other four yesterday.
I reloaded.
With all due respect to the Major...
at this point in time, Ms. Fleming,
cost overruns are immaterial.
The Air Force cannot evaluate
HARP until HARP flies.
Exactly my point. Mr. Chairman...
if I may be permitted
to ask Mr. Grove a question.
When can we expect to see the HARP?
I can't believe what I'm hearing here today.
I've devoted my life
to developing better ways...
to defend this great country of ours.
I never raised the subject
of your patriotism, Mr. Grove.
I should damn well hope not.
If we could get back to the question at hand.
What about the CD-18, Major?
Three months ahead of schedule
and under budget.
Ready for testing next week.
Mount Promise. I know.
General Watson and I will be there.
I'm impressed. This girl's got a lot of guts.
- Who?
- Major Fleming.
She's the one
who tried to tap into the Grove circuit.
If she's not careful,
she'll wind up with her ass in a sling.
She's coming in to New York.
Maybe you'd better slow her down a bit.
Every time she mentions HARP,
our man Grove begins to get an itch.
I wonder why?
I want that bitch put on a very short leash.
Should be right up your alley, Stone.
Pick up your feet.
Float.
Float.
Congratulations, Chiun.
Bearing in mind
that nature snubbed him cruelly...
by denying him Korean birth...
I am not entirely dissatisfied.
- When will he be ready?
- Ahead of time, I think.
Excellent.
That means?
- Fifteen years.
- Fifteen years?
If I cut a few corners, 14 and a half.
Chiun, I need to borrow him for a while.
- Emily, Jim's your son.
- I'm only his stepmother.
But Margaret told me something
just before she died.
What's that?
Jim's your son, too.
Is it painful?
I was singing an old Korean love song.
The race must be practically extinct.
Chiun, do you mind if I ask you something?
- Two more minutes.
- No, I mean...
how old are you? You are old, aren't you?
For an apricot, yes.
For a head of lettuce, even more so.
But for a mountain,
I am not even begun in years.
For a man, I am just right.
Now I know, don't I?
You ever been married?
I am the Master of Sinanju.
No women. Vows of celibacy. Eunuch.
That sort of stuff?
You are trying to say something?
No, just...
What I'm saying is I've been cooped up
in this rat hole for a whole month...
- working my...
- Sex.
Yeah, sex! Now you're cooking.
Maybe it's the breathing and the rice...
Lesson 36.
The 20 steps designed
to bring a woman to sexual ecstasy.
Though I personally have rarely found
it necessary to go beyond seven...
to achieve bliss.
Go on, I'm listening.
With the left hand,
you locate the woman's pulse.
Then, with the middle finger...
and tapping in time with the pulse...
Then what?
Then you may put the rice in the bowl
and we may eat.
What was the number
of the lesson this morning?
Wasn't 36, I know that.
You would call it "four."
I would call it "embarrassing."
You know, Chiun,
there are times when I really like you.
Of course. I am Chiun.
- Then there are times when I could kill you.
- Good!
We will practice that after dinner!