apologize.
- I'm goin' home.
- Oh, come on.
- Don't be a weenie. It was a joke!
- I'm sorry, Mr Peterson.
I'm gonna go do something productive.
I'm gonna go watch televisiуn.
The answer is:
- What is Lincoln's birthday.
- Addley?
- What is Memorial Day?
- Memorial Day is it. Select.
They combined Lincoln's birthday
with Washington's. It's one weekend now.
- It's always flip-flopping.
- It's one weekend now.
"Remain calm, float with arms stretched
out at right angles to the body..."
That's what you used to say to me
in college, right?
- What about your parents?
- They're not home 'til Thursday.
Gail, I swear to God, this is
better than anything on televisiуn.
- Why can't we go to a movie?
- "A movie"?
That's not real.
It's the same as televisiуn.
Trust me.
This is real.
This is my neighbourhood.
Here he comes, right on schedule.
God, I love this street.
Ray.
- What?
- Who was Mussolini?
"How sweet it is" was, uh...
- Right again.
- Business and Industry for 200.
 In the McDonald's
corporate think tank, executives...
- Art, we're watching the show.
- What does he want?
I don't know. But I'll be back
in time for Final Jeopardy.
Nebraskans for 1,000, please.
Okay, the show's started. Check it out.
You see the guy with the curly hair?
That's Mr Peterson.
He's this sceptic.
He's basically grounded in reality...
and he doesn't want to believe
his neighbours are up to
something strange.
'Cause if they were,
he'd have to deal with it.
Okay, now see the fat guy?
That's Mr Weingartner.
He thinks the Klopeks
are really evil...
and that they're building
a dungeon in their basement.
He and Mr Rumsfield decided
to do a little snooping tonight.
This should be good.
Shh, shh, shh.
- What is this?
- It's an infrared scope.
Snipers use it
for night visiуn.
What are we gonna do with it?
Get a look in those
barred-up basement windows.
Come here.
I've been thinking about it. I don't
think we should go through with this.
Are you a 'fraidy cat?
No, I just think things
have gone off the deep end.
Infrared night visiуn scopes? What
are we gonna do next, tap their phone?
That can be arranged.
Then all we have to do is burn
a cross on their front lawn.
Shh.
- Quiet.
- You hear that?
I thought that was just me.
- It's a low-frequency hum or something.
- It's getting louder.
Listen.
Is that a transformer
or something?
The goddam power company.
But I can't...
Where is it coming from?
I know where it's coming from.
Wow.
What the hell was that?
Brownout.
Smells like they're cooking
a goddam cat over there.
- I'm gonna go find out what exactly...
- Get down, get down!
No headlights.
I can see the news report now:
"They were a quiet family.
Kept pretty much to themselves.
No one would have ever
suspected them of foul play."
I've never seen anybody drive
their garbage to the street...
and then bang the hell
out of it with a stick.
I've never seen that.
I say we get a look
in those garbage cans.
Call me overly cautious, but don't
you think that's a bit suspicious?
The three of us going through
their garbage at 11:00 at night
in the middle of a rainstorm?
Affirmative.
That garbage is going nowhere.
I say we wait 'til first light.
Scope me.
I'm outta here.
Rain delay.
Bummer.
Ray, what was that you were saying the
other day about half-cocked theories?
Ray... sleep tight.
No way Wednesday night.
I'm in a league.
This seminar could change your life,
Vic. The man is a great healer.
And I'm a great bowler. Wednesday night
we're taking on Roselli Plumbing.
You should expose yourself
to this guy, Vic.
He understands paraphysical forces...
the healing capabilities of crystals
and the laying on of hands.
You wanna try laying on some