and figured you'd gone home.
I wasn't home, Nick.
I was in the movie.
I'm getting a little up in years, kid.
Define "in."
Whitney kissed me on the mouth.
I drove a big crane and dropped
Leo the Fart in the La Brea Tar Pits.
I was with Jack Slater
every step of the way!
Oh, my God.
The ticket works?
I could have used it all this time,
and I never used it because...
...I was too frightened.
But it's not too late.
I can still go visit...
...Garbo in Camille.
Jean Harlow.
Oh, boy, I had a crush.
Monroe in Bus Stop.
Forgive me for going on like that, sir.
I'm a great admirer of your work too.
Nick, it isn't who you think.
You mean...?
Is he...?
This is a wonderful moment
for me, Mr. Slater.
I've never met
a fictional character before.
How new and exciting
this must all be for you.
Hey, I just found out I was imaginary.
How would you feel if you found out
that somebody made you up?
Your job, your marriage,
your kids.
Oh, yeah.
Let's push his son off the building. Gives
you nightmares the rest of your life.
But you're fictional, so who cares?
I'm sorry, but I don't find it
new and exciting...
...to discover that my whole life
has been a damn movie.
You're young and impressionable.
There's lots worse things
than movies.
There's politicians and wars
and forest fires...
...and famine and plague...
...sickness, pain, warts, politicians...
- You already mentioned them.
- They're twice as bad as anything else.
Most of my life's been movies too.
Well, showing them,
but that's all over for me now.
The theater's shut.
I'm gonna clear out my stuff,
and then it's the wrecking ball.
But now I got another chance.
Could I have the ticket back?
Well...
...we've got this one little...
...hiccup.
What do you mean, "hiccup"?
Benedict's here too,
and he's got the ticket.
That madman with the glass eye?
- How the hell are you gonna get back?
- That's a good question.
But we wouldn't want to nitpick.
Right, Danny?
Now, you just follow my lead.
Where have you been?
Have you got any idea what time it is?
The police call, you're not there.
You're not here.
Mom, I'm sorry. Okay?
"Okay"?
There are 9 million kids
out there with guns...
...and that's all you have
to say to me, "Okay"?
- Will you get in here?
- Well, Mom, wait.
You know how you always say
you wished I had more friends?
Well...
Hello, Mrs. Madigan.
Arnold Braunschweiger.
Sweetheart, want to have a party?
How old are you?
Forget it.
No! Get the shoes!
Take the shoes!
Come on. We ain't got time.
Come on!
Take his shoes?
No screams?
No sirens?
Excuse me!
Excuse me!
Yeah?
I'm sorry to bother you.
I wonder if you'd help me test a theory.
Sure. What can I do for you?
Well...
Hello?
I've just shot somebody.
I did it on purpose!
I said, I have murdered a man,
and I want to confess!
Hey, shut up down there!
I don't know what to say. I feel a little shy
and embarrassed right now...
...but, I mean, I understand that,
for some reason, we look alike.
It's crazy.
The thing is, you really do
look uncannily like him.
Except for one thing, the eyes.
You are obviously much more intelligent.
- Thank you.
- Good morning. Good afternoon.
Good to see you.
What kind of eggs do you want?
Scrambled. Have you guys
been up all night?
Why didn't you tell me
that Jack was a cop...
...and that you were in a police station
looking at mug shots?
You could have taken
two minutes to call.
Why didn't you tell me
you had no friends?
What is this about going
to the movies at midnight...
...when you knew
your mother would be worried?
Mom, you turned him
into a wimp.
Oh, I think not.
- Toast?
- No, thanks.
Jack, are you okay?
We talked.
I mean, I never just talked
to a woman before.
- It's neat.
- Neat?
Wimp. Next they'll be talking about sex.
Me and Jack are going out today!
I'm helping him on a case!
Oh, no. Your license to kill expired
at 4:00 this morning, young man.
Get in