your dad?
- I didn't tell anyone.
I don't even know this kid.
He seems to know
a lot about us.
No such number. No such name. The
state of New York's never heard of you.
- What's your real name?
- Danny Madigan.
- Where are you really from?
- How did you get in my car?
I fell off a walk-over bridge.
Slipped into your car.
He saved my life.
Truth at last.
Now why were they after you?
My second cousin Frank found out
some information.
I wouldn't put too much faith
into what Vivaldi told him.
How do you know
Frank mentioned Vivaldi?
I know a lot about what's going on.
If you'd listen...
All right, son.
I've got the perfect listener for you.
Meet your new partner.
Oh, no.
Better to die.
You're gonna love it, Jack.
We're perfect buddy-movie material.
I'll teach you to be vulnerable.
You'll teach me to be brave.
Hi. I'm Jack Slater's new partner.
Jack and I will be working together
for the duration of the film.
You know I'm right.
If this was the real world,
they wouldn't make me your partner.
They'd assign me to a social worker.
Tell me how I know they tortured Frank
and stashed him behind his front door.
Because I saw it on-screen.
Because this is a movie.
You're very clever. The only reason
I'm not roaring with laughter...
...is because someone killed
my favorite second cousin.
- And that's a...
- Big mistake.
That is what you were gonna say, right?
- Gee, how would I know that?
- No one likes a smart-ass.
Okay.
Then shoot me. That's right.
Take your gun, point it at my head
and pull the trigger.
Come on. Do it.
I double-dare you.
You're not gonna do it, are you?
Do you know why?
People like you don't kill kids in movies.
Because believe it or not, Jack,
you're the good guy.
- You really believe we're inside a movie?
- Yes!
All right. I'll give you 10 minutes
to prove it...
...and then I shoot you.
Slater!
- Quick, a Schwarzenegger film.
- Foreign films are in back.
No, action.
This guy's an action star.
Down the center, on the left.
No.
It isn't possible.
What's not possible?
He's fantastic.
- This is his best performance ever.
- But that was you.
You were in that movie.
You were in a movie?
Yes. It was called
The Girl of My Dreams.
It starred you.
As a matter of fact, we had
this very romantic scene together.
What's the phone number
of this store?
555-2310.
Okay. What's your home number?
That's okay. You can give it to him.
I'm a police officer.
555-3812.
Amazing. I'm willing to bet
that everyone has a 555 number.
- So?
- So...
...there can only be 9999 numbers
that start with 555.
- How many people live in L.A.?
- Eight or 9 million.
That's why we have area codes.
Is this your kid?
This? Oh, no.
This is a mental patient...
...and I'm gonna take him downtown.
Come on.
Okay, I got one. What about this girl?
She is way too attractive
to be working at a video store.
I agree with you.
I think she should be working with us.
Undercover, of course.
Look, the point is,
there are no unattractive women here.
I mean, where are the ordinary,
everyday women?
They don't exist
because this is a movie.
This is California.
By the way, thanks.
I think it was really slick the way
you got this girl's phone number.
Okay, Mr. Nonbeliever.
I'll take you to the house
where your cousin Frank was tortured.
I've seen it on-screen.
It's kind of like that one, except
on the other side of the road...
...because it's got an ocean view.
Listen, there's something
you don't understand.
This ticket is magic,
and it really works.
Any second we're gonna drive
right into a theater.
Maybe I need to warm it up first.
Of course. My decoder ring
has to warm up too.
Okay. Okay.
The house looked European.
Like maybe you get a postcard
from Italy or something.
Like that one.
In fact, just like that one.
The bad guys are in there.
You know something? I think
you should be wearing this.
- I don't think I've earned it yet.
- You