take you out as easy as cake.
Pie, you Sicilian schmuck.
The man is a surgeon.
Do you want me to make him
operate on you?
I swear I do not know.
Dump him at his place.
But take it easy.
He bought it. He actually believes
me and Torelli are banding together.
The beauty part is, nobody knows
different. Until after the funeral.
Then everybody knows.
Everybody knows
Tony Vivaldi is number one.
You are going to pay.
Is this right?
It does not look like a crack house.
Do you want 60 guys dancing on
the lawn throwing cocaine around?
- What is up, guys?
- Quiet. This is a drug bust.
Drug bust? You must be joking.
My cousin Frank lives here.
The only drugs he has is aspirin.
If you touch that front door,
you are going to need them.
It must be a mistake.
We received an anonymous tip.
Frank?
Jack, listen to me.
- Who did this?
- Listen to me.
This is important.
Tony Vivaldi and the Torelli mob
are joining forces.
I am out of here.
Sorry, Frank.
It is a bomb!
He is okay. Minor wound.
Both cops dead.
Two days to retirement.
Nick?
- Who the hell are you?
- Do not shoot me! I am a kid.
- How did you get here?
- I do not think you want to know.
Close your eyes, stay flat
and do not move!
You are driving with no hands!
You have to practice
and never do it in heavy traffic.
I iced that guy,
to cone a phrase.
Wait... The bad puns,
the voice, the hard rock.
This is really happening.
This is not happening.
Repeat: This is not...
I threw up. Sorry.
I thought I was going to die.
I am sorry to disappoint you, but you
will live to enjoy the fruits of life.
Acne, shaving, premature
ejaculation and divorce.
Does this suck weenie or what?
This is a movie set.
This is a movie. That is how
the scenery changed, right?
You are going to play chicken, right?
Just like Jack Slater.
Fasten your seat belt, please.
Your fingers?
Cross as many as you can.
I am in the movie.
Holy cow, I am in the movie.
Nick, Houdini was not faking.
Jack, did you see that?
I was just in a real police station.
And this is much nicer.
Slater, it is your ex-wife
on line two!
You stay.
She is always calling me.
Hello, sweetheart.
It is nice to hear your voice.
- Oiler! You team up with Waterman.
- Give me a partner, Sarge.
That is right.
Of course.
No, just as you said.
Krause!
You team up with the rabbi.
- How do you get to Carnegie Hall?
- Practice!
John Practice, you S.O.B.
Why are you not in Washington?
The Bureau thinks there is
something going on between...
Vivaldi is joining forces
with Torelli.
- How do you do that?
- I do not sit around eating donuts.
Those are government donuts.
I have to call D.C.
Good for you.
Watch it, Jack.
He killed Mozart.
- In a movie?
- "Amadeus". It won 8 Oscars!
I saved him in 'Nam,
so I will be on the lookout.
Now, no more movies.
Slater!!
The city council is chewing my eggs
off for your plane crash!
The mayor is parading up my
Lincoln Tunnel for that beach stunt!
Everybody wants to know
what it will be!
- Do I make myself clear?!
- I am just doing my job.
You have given us the worst
reputation in the country!
The Chamber of Commerce is doing
cartwheels in my cocoa factory!
Ratcliff, you are on duty
with the cat.
Hiya, Toots!
- Join me for a flea bath later?
- Touch me again and I will kill you!
- I can prove this is a movie.
- Who are you?
It is a cartoon cat.
He is supposed to be back.
He was only suspended a month.
Listen to me. An animated cat
just walked into the squad room.
- He will do it again tomorrow.
- That cat is one of my best men.
Who is that smiling twerp?
I love the way you fight, knowing
how you really feel about each other.
How do I feel about this
sack of puppy poo?
You are dearest friends.
After your wife left you -
- Jack told everyone he drove
her to the diphtheria clinic.
When he came back, you said:
"You saved me from humiliation.
You are my dearest friend."
- You promised