have used it all this time
and I never used it 'cause I...
I was too frightened.
But it's not too late. I can still go visit
Garbo in Camille.
Jean Harlow. Oh, boy, I had a crush...
Monroe in Bus Stop.
Forgive me for going on like that, sir.
I'm a great admirer of your work, too.
Nick, it isn't who you think.
You mean, it's... Is he...
This is a wonderful moment
for me, Mr. Slater.
I've never met a fictional character before.
How new and exciting
this must all be for you.
Hey, I just found out I was imaginary.
I mean, how would you feel if you found out
that somebody made you up?
Your job, your marriage, your kids.
Oh, yeah.
Let's push his son off the building.
Gives you nightmares the rest of your life.
But you're fictional, so who cares? I'm sorry,
but I don't find it so new and exciting
to discover
that my whole life has been a damn movie.
Well, you're young and impressionable.
You know,
there's lots worse things than movies.
There's politicians and wars and forest fires,
and famine and plague...
- Sickness, pain, warts, politicians...
- You already mentioned them.
I know I did.
They're twice as bad as anything else.
Most of my life's been movies, too.
Well, showing them.
But that's all over for me now.
The theater's shut. I'm gonna clear out
my stuff, and then it's the wrecking ball.
But now, I got another chance.
Could I have the ticket back, please?
Well... We've got this one little
- hiccup.
- What do you mean "hiccup"?
Benedict's here, too, and he's got the ticket.
That madman with the glass eye?
- How the hell are you going to get back?
- That's a good question.
But we wouldn't want to nitpick.
Right, Danny?
Now, you just follow my lead.
Where have you been?
Have you got any idea what time it is?
The police called.
You're not there, you're not here.
Mom, I'm sorry. Okay?
"Okay?"
There are nine million kids
out there with guns
and that's all
you have to say to me, "Okay?"
- Will you get in here?
- Well... Mom, wait.
You know how you always say
you wished I had more friends?
Well...
Hello, Mrs. Madigan.
Arnold Braunschweiger.
Sweetheart, want to have a party?
- How old are you?
- Forget it.
No, you get the shoes! Take the shoes!
Come on, we ain't got time. Come on!
Take his shoes?
No screams?
No sirens?
Excuse me!
- Excuse me!
- Yeah?
I'm sorry to bother you.
I wonder if you'd help me test a theory.
Sure. What can I do for you?
Well...
Hello?
I've just shot somebody. I did it on purpose!
I said, I have murdered a man,
and I want to confess!
Hey, shut up down there!
I don't know what to say.
I feel a little shy and embarrassed right now,
but, I mean, I understand that,
for some reason, we look alike.
It's crazy...
The thing is, you really do look uncannily
like him except for one thing, the eyes.
- You are obviously much more intelligent.
- Thank you.
Good morning. Good afternoon.
Good to see you.
What kind of eggs do you want?
Scrambled.
Have you guys been up all night?
Why didn't you tell me that Jack was a cop
and why didn't you tell me
you spent the whole night
in a police station looking at mug shots?
You could have taken two minutes
to call your mother.
Why didn't you tell me you had no friends?
And what is this business
about going to the movies at midnight
when you knew
your mother would be worried?
Mom. You turned him into a wimp.
Oh, I think not. Toast?
No, thanks.
Jack, are you okay?
We talked.
I mean, I never just talked
to a woman before. It's neat.
Neat?
Wimp. Next, they'll be talking about sex.
Me and Jack are going out today!
I'm helping him on a case!
Oh, no.
Your license to kill
expired at 4:00 this morning, young man.
Get in here and eat some eggs.
Mom, I have to help. I'm the only witness.
You know, like the kid in the movie
with Harrison Ford?
There is no comparison.
We're not Jewish.
- Amish.
- Whatever-ish!
Irene. Don't worry. It won't be that hard.
There are