adventures.
But the craziest part is,
I kept surviving.
These are the sequels.
They have to get harder.
Look on the good side.
You have a great daughter.
And your ex-wife would not call
if she did not want you back.
Do you think she cannot tell
the real voice from a taped one?
I pay a cashier to call me at work,
so the guys think I have a life.
My ex-wife is happily remarried.
She never calls.
And Whitney. Why can she not be
a normal teenager?
On prom night she stays home
to field strip an AK-47.
She will die a young maid.
I am going to buy it soon, too.
No way. You cannot die
until the grosses go down.
Vivaldi said something would
happen at a funeral.
We should look into
this funeral.
Whatever.
Jack, it is a funeral
for a guy named Fart.
Funeral?
Someone tried to kill Torelli,
but hit Leo the Fart instead, right?
Wrong. Did Benedict take the shot?
Most likely. Would he miss? No way.
- Unless he wanted to miss.
- Did he mean to miss? Why?
Because Leo the Fart was
very, very fat. Get it?
No, I do not.
They broke in, cut Leo open
and stuffed him with T.N.T.
He goes off at the funeral and
takes out the whole Torelli mob.
That is what this is all about.
Vivaldi will blow up that funeral.
It would not be a bomb. We have had
a dozen explosions in this movie.
Do not start that again.
- Nerve gas!
- What are you talking about?
Some nerve gas has been stolen
from military trucks.
They could have put it inside him.
Do you know what that means?
Leo the Fart will pass gas
one more time.
Mr. Torelli.
I hope it is all right I am here.
I do not want to be a fourth wheel.
Fifth wheel.
Did you hear that, Benedict?
Family. Go pay your respects.
- Stay in the car.
- No, I am coming with you.
Let us say this is a movie.
If someone says, "Stay in the car",
and the guy does not, what happens?
- He saves the day.
- Or gets killed.
Good point. I will stay.
Wait a minute!
What if that gets me killed?
There is a gun in
the glove compartment.
- Practice!
- Makes perfect.
The Fart is a bomb
to take out the Torelli mob.
That explains the mortuary break in.
Let us use the service entrance.
- Who do you work for, John?
- What do you mean?
We both know there is
no side entrance to this hotel.
I am sorry, Jack. I did not
want it to go down this way.
Danny said not to trust you.
He said you killed Moe Zart.
- Moe who?
- Zart.
I kill many people.
I cannot remember them all.
How do you get to Carnegie Hall?
In a bodybag
if you do not drop that.
That is doubtful, kid.
Real doubtful.
Thank you for the fingerprints.
You are about to murder Jack Slater.
Chain yourself to that pipe.
These drug guys have more money
than the government.
So you cut a deal with
a scumbag like Vivaldi.
Vivaldi made up with Torelli, but it
was a phoney. He will destroy him.
In exchange for leaving him alone,
he gives me a profit percentage.
I will be rich, Jack.
You will be dead, but...
Freeze!
Toss me the cuffs.
You idiot. You made the classic
movie mistake. Do not explain so much.
You had to get in a last few words.
Had you fired, you would have won.
But you are the typical villain.
Dumb.
You are no genius yourself, kid.
- The Fart goes off in 7 minutes.
- Get my car.
Move it.
I would love to stay and watch,
but I have to establish my alibi.
Arrivederci.
Did you want to save the day?
- You are not doing anything.
- I would steal your thunder.
No, you stay here and make sure
everything goes as planned.
You have had Slater in front of the
8-ball before, but you screwed it up.
That is "behind" the 8-ball.
You moron.
Somebody once told me I talk
too much. No more words.
- Whiskers! Where have you been?
- Sorry, Jack. Fur ball problem.
Seal off the area. There will be
a chemical explosion in 5 minutes.
- Thanks, Whiskers. I owe you one.
- Forget it. You have often saved me.
Do you see the hook of that crane?
Get it up on the roof in 2 minutes.