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road trip to San Diego, Bob.
I told you we should have gone
to San Francisco.
What, like going to San Francisco would not
have caused this problem with the engine?
Yeah, because when you're going north,
it screws this way.
When you're going south,
it screws that way.
If we were in Australia.
This proves you got somebody
out to get you real bad, Bob.
I just hope the house is still there
when we get back.
Yeah, I didn't think of that.
- I wouldn't worry about it too much.
- You wouldn't?
Christ, they may have broken in
and ripped off all we got.
All Bob's got, anyhow.
What if they stomped the animals?
Don't worry about it.
I left a little surprise for them.
What?
Yes, anyone entering the house while we
were gone today will receive a little surprise.
Little something I perfected
early this morning.
What kind of surprise?
It's my house, Jim.
You should ask me before
you start wiring up my house.
Why so uptight about
protecting your house from intruders?
Why would you care?
I'm just saying, it's my house, that's all.
You can't start going around
booby-trapping my house.
Okay, okay. I mean, jeez.
Or as the Germans say, leise...
...which translates to "be cool."
Just be cool.
So, what did you do?
If the front door is opened
while we are in absentia...
...thumbnail-sized, auxiliary,
motion-detector...
...digital-memory cameras start recording.
You should have told me.
What if they come in through the back door
or the bathroom window...
...like that infamous Beatles' song?
To increase their chances of entering
via the front door...
...rather than in other less usual places...
...l, fortuitously,
left the front door unlocked.
- Suppose they don't know it's unlocked.
- That's why I left a note on the door.
- You're kidding me.
- No, no. No.
Yes. But no. But yes.
Are you bullshitting us or not?
I just simply never know with you.
- Is he fucking with us, Bob?
- We'll see when we get back.
If there's a note on the door and it's
unlocked, we'll know he isn't lying.
They'd probably take the note down after
ripping off and vandalizing the house...
...and locking the door behind them,
so we don't know.
We will never know.
It's still that gray area.
Of course I'm kidding.
Only a psychotic would do that.
Leave the front door
unlocked with a note on it.
What'd you write
on the note, Jim?
I wrote, "Come on in,
the door's unlocked."
He did it. He really did it.
This is the only way we'll know
for sure who's been doing this.
And is that not what is
of primary importance?
Okay, I'm still gray here.
Now, did you do it or not?
Is it really that suspenseful?
- Did you?
- He did it.
Doesn't matter.
We'll be home shortly.
- Did you?
- We'll be home presently.
Well, Barris, I can see you're right.
This scrupulous covering-over of
all the signs they would've otherwise left...
...testifies to their thoroughness.
You're an idiot.
Oh, wait, wait. This... What's that?
Come here, come here.
Look at this, look at this.
A still-hot cigarette butt. It sure is.
Wait a second.
They lit a joint
while they were here, Bob.
Fuck it. Barris is right,
there was somebody here.
This roach is still hot, smell it.
Yes. And that roach may not have
been left here by accident.
This evidence may not be a slip-up.
- So, what now?
- Maybe they were here specifically...
...to plant drugs in the house.
Setting us up,
then "phoning in a tip" later.
It could be in the phone,
the wall outlets.
We have to go through this house
and get it absolutely clean...
...before they phone us in,
unless they already have.
We might only have minutes.
You check the wall sockets.
- I'll tear this phone apart.
- Wait, hold on.
- If they see us scrambling before the raid...
- What raid?
If we're frantically
trying to flush their drugs...
...we can't allege, though true,
we didn't know they were here.
They're going to find us holding them,
or maybe that's part of
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