story.
I thought she would make a good
witness if the case ever came to trial.
But somehow, something didn't sit right.
I drove back to Police Squad
to see what Homicide
and the lab boys had picked up.
So, Billy, when the moisture in the air
comes in contact with the cold pitcher
it forms water droplets,
what we call "condensation."
Just like on your mother
when she gets out of the shower,
glistening with tiny little beads of...
Oh, hi, Frank.
That'll be all for today, Billy.
Next week, we'll look into
some interesting experiments
we can do with discarded swimwear.
Thanks, Mr Olson. Bye.
- You come up with anything, Ted?
- Well, we got the coroner's report
on the depth of penetration
of the bullet in Jim Johnson's body.
If the hold-up man
had been where Sally Decker said,
the bullet should have
penetrated deeper.
Let me show you what we did.
These guns are identical
to the one that killed Jim Johnson.
Watch carefully as I test fire this gun
into these videotapes
of Barbara Walters interviews.
As you can see, it completely destroys
the Burt Reynolds interview.
And everything from
Bo Derek to Paul Newman.
But only up to the point where Barbara
asks him, "Is it difficult to love?"
Now let me show you what happens
when the gun is fired from three feet.
Which is the distance Sally claimed
the shots were fired from.
Notice?
Complete destruction.
Right up to the point
where she asked Katharine Hepburn
what kind of tree she'd like to be.
Our next stop was a neighbourhood
known as Little Italy.
A criminal investigation
seldom follows a straightforward,
clear-cut course.
This one was obviously no exception.
I felt we had to talk
with Ralph Twice's widow
to see how much she knew.
Please go away. Please go away.
I don't want to answer
any more of your questions.
We're sorry to bother you
at a time like this, Mrs Twice.
We would have come earlier,
but your husband wasn't dead then.
Ralph was such a good man.
Who could have done
such a horrible thing?
Did he owe any money? Doctor bills?
Gambling debts?
Book-of-the-month club?
No, nothing.
Just two more payments
on our solar telescope.
Oh, poor Ralph.
Do you know what it's like to be married
to a wonderful man for 14 years?
No, I can't say that I do.
I did live with a guy once, though,
but that was just for a couple of years.
Usual slurs, rumours, innuendos,
people didn't understand.
Ran him out of town
like a common pigmy.
- Did he have any enemies?
- Well, the Democrats didn't like him.
Sure, he was a physical education
major, but he had a mind.
He could think. He wasn't all muscle,
all body, all sinewy limbs.
He got married, you know, later,
had three kids.
Never cared for her.
Sent a nice gift, never got a note.
Now, I know this is a long shot,
but did he ever eat chop suey?
- Why, no. No, he never did.
- It was just a hunch.
I told him she was wrong.
And that youngest boy,
just like his father, football hero.
Lived with him for a year.
It wasn't the same.
- Can't go back.
- Oh, poor Ralph.
And what about my daughter?
What am I gonna tell her?
Yeah, you're gonna have
to tell her something.
- Tell her he went on a long trip.
- Tell her... Wait a minute.
How about a big monster came
and took him to Daddy Heaven?
- Nah.
- What about this?
He threw himself on a grenade
to save the battalion? Yeah, that's it.
No, no, wait a minute. He was killed
by left wing insurgents from Paraguay.
No, Bolivia!
I got it. I got... He was traded
to the Cubs for Reggie Jackson.
No further progress was made
in the next 10 hours.
The following morning,
I reported back to Police Squad.
About 10:00, Sally Decker
dictated a formal statement.
She said the hold-up man had come in
once before, to extort protection money.
- Something new?
- Nothing.
- Anything here?
- Not until we get the lab reports.
I got them right here, Chief.
Reports on our APB, negative.
R and I rundown on Twice,