ain't no war
but ours.
Thank you.
Drive carefully.
Nice enough people.
They just hadn't
thought it through.
You talked us out of there.
We got delayed.
We're going to Nashville.
What?
You could talk a dog
off a meat truck.
Thank you.
We just got stuck.
All systems five-by-five.
See you in Nashville.
You saved our bacon.
It was just a...
a phenomenal performance.
You turned them around.
They hadn't thought it through.
He's moving across the tarmac.
But it appears something
has distracted the president...
and he has stopped moving
toward the waiting motorcade.
There's a little girl...
trying to speak
to the president.
It seems she's speaking in...
Is it Albanian?
Can we get someone
to translate?
Dan,
I think what she is saying...
is that this wheat offering
is sort of ceremonial...
and that it is
the first sheaf...
the first cut of the harvest.
I'm not proficient
in Albanian...
but the old woman
is quite taken...
as the president
is offering her the coat.
It is quite
an emotional moment here.
There comes a time...
in the course of human events...
when a threat
must be answered...
with courage and strength.
Our forefathers earned...
the right to be free.
Now it's time...
to guard their dream.
We guard...
our American borders.
We guard...
the American dream.
We guard our right...
to fight for democracy...
and keep our country free.
We guard...
our American spirit.
We guard...
the American dream.
Our country's built...
on the rock of liberty.
And we, as people...
must keep it free.
It is for life...
liberty...
the pursuit of happiness...
Freedom, 'tis of thee.
We guard...
our American borders.
We guard...
the American dream.
I loved the fat,
wet Albanian broad.
Thank you.
You know why?
It was understated.
You got lucky
with the rain, too.
We had to divert
the plane to Boca Raton.
You should have come to me.
We have rain machines.
I'm a producer. I make rain.
Next time.
I havejust gotten word...
that the situation
in Albania is resolved...
that it is resolved.
The CIA confirms...
that our troops
along the Canadian border...
and overseas are standing down.
I must take this opportunity
to call upon our president...
What does he mean,
the situation has been resolved?
He just ended the war.
He ended the war?Why did he do that?
I think the CIA
cut a better deal.
He ended the war?
He can't end the war.
He's not producing this.
This is in bad taste.
Can we stop this?
Stop. It's over.
Can we stop this?
Stop the choir.
It has been quite a week,
Richard.
I can't remember
when any president...
was hit with the flu, a war...
and accused of sexual
misconduct by a teenage girl...
all in the same
seven-day period.
This, of course, only days
before he runs for reelection.
We'vejust received information
from sources at the CIA...
that confirms the cessation
of hostilities...
The CIA.
I thought they let us out
too easily.
The war's over.
It's over.
I saw it on television.
I have to sell my house.
The war is not over.
I saw it on TV.
That's what you hired me for.
The war isn't over
until I say it's over.
This is my picture.
This is not the CIA's picture.
You think
you're in a tight spot now?
Try making The Four Horsemen
of the Apocalypse.
Three of the horsemen died.
Hear what he's saying?
Three of the horsemen died...
two weeks before the end
of principal photography.
This