lt is quite
an emotional moment here.
There comes a time...
in the course of human events...
when a threat
must be answered...
with courage and strength.
Our forefathers earned...
the right to be free.
Now it's time...
to guard their dream.
We guard...
our American borders.
We guard...
the American dream.
We guard our right...
to fight for democracy...
and keep our country free.
We guard...
our American spirit.
We guard...
the American dream.
Our country's built...
on the rock of liberty.
And we, as people...
must keep it free.
lt is for life...
liberty...
the pursuit of happiness...
Freedom, 'tis of thee.
We guard...
our American borders.
We guard...
the American dream.
l loved the fat,
wet Albanian broad.
Thank you.
You know why?
lt was understated.
You got lucky
with the rain, too.
We had to divert
the plane to Boca Raton.
You should have come to me.
We have rain machines.
l'm a producer. l make rain.
Next time.
l have just gotten word...
that the situation
in Albania is resolved...
that it is resolved.
The ClA confirms...
that our troops
along the Canadian border...
and overseas are standing down.
l must take this opportunity
to call upon our president...
What does he mean,
the situation has been resolved?
He just ended the war.
He ended the war?
Why did he do that?
l think the ClA
cut a better deal.
He ended the war?
He can't end the war.
He's not producing this.
This is in bad taste.
Can we stop this?
Stop. lt's over.
Can we stop this?
Stop the choir.
lt has been quite a week,
Richard.
l can't remember
when any president...
was hit with the flu, a war...
and accused of sexual
misconduct by a teenage girl...
all in the same
seven-day period.
This, of course, only days
before he runs for reelection.
We've just received information
from sources at the ClA...
that confirms the cessation
of hostilities...
The ClA.
l thought they let us out
too easily.
The war's over.
lt's over.
l saw it on television.
l have to sell my house.
The war is not over.
l saw it on TV.
That's what you hired me for.
The war isn't over
until l say it's over.
This is my picture.
This is not the ClA's picture.
You think
you're in a tight spot now?
Try making The Four Horsemen
of the Apocalypse.
Three of the horsemen died.
Hear what he's saying?
Three of the horsemen died...
two weeks before the end
of principal photography.
This is nothing.
This is just Act One,
"The War."
We really do need an Act Two,
so we work.
Act Two.
You know what it's like?
The Japanese. ln the caves.
-Go on.
-Okinawa.
They didn't believe
the war was over.
We have a guy
who doesn't believe--
We have an American serviceman.
A brave American serviceman
is left behind.
A hero.
l can't believe it.
What was l thinking?
We had a war.
We forgot the hero.
You can't have a war
and not have a hero.
lt's like we sent
a Christmas card...
and left out the--
What do you call it?
-Fruitcake.
-There you go.
Let's work.
We got a guy
who's left behind, so--
This is terrific.
This is lucky this happened.
He was left behind,
just discarded...
like an old shoe.
That's good.
What's good? What did l say?
-Shoe.
-Old shoe?
lt's just instinct.
Get me the Pentagon...
a list of people in all
military special programs.
"Left behind like an old shoe."
That is good.
l want to talk to Johnny.
What is it?
The war is over.
We're going to need a new song.
lt should be a song
about a shiny shoe...
a black patent shoe...
a good old shoe.
l was on my way to get drunk.
You get drunk, but l need
a good old shoe song.
A ballad of loss...
-Want to help me?
-Redemption.
Loss and redemption
is very good.
Shit.
What key do you want it in?
l don't know keys.
People here are depressed
because the war just ended.
Please give me a new song.
l got him.
King, Pentagon.
Take it.
l need a list
of military special programs.
Bottom of the ninth.
They