sacred
traditionaI offering...
given to the man
who ties the first sheaf...
the Iast sheaf,
who knows what sheaf?
Is she saying this in AIbanian?
She`s speaking in AIbanian...
because this is the onIy way
it can be understood...
by her sacred, sainted,
and aged mother...
We`re picking them up now.
The old lady starts to speak.
``You have brought peace
not only to this--``
The chiId speaks.
A face of innocence,
no cynicism.
The chiId says...
Are you getting this?
The oId broad starts to cry.
Big Bird shrugs off
his secret service,...
covers her with his coat,
end of story.
Can you find out if we could
get some rain tomorrow?
How is Big Bird holding up?
He`s good.
He does want to know--
what does Motss want?
I don`t know.
Ambassador to Togo.
No rain tomorrow at Andrews,
but there`s rain at Boca Raton.
Then direct the pIane to Boca.
Connie says
divert the pIane to Boca.
What`s happening?
Can I heIp you?
What`s the probIem?
We`re in a rush.
Do you know who we are?
I`m afraid that`s the troubIe,
Miss Ames.
CIA.
I have this to say...
...every American man,
woman, and child...
What am I gonna do?
I have
a three-year-oId daughter...
eventuaIIy headed
for orthodonture.
Now that the CIA knows,
I`m gonna Iose everything--
my career, my reputation.
What am I gonna do?
Brazen it through.
Took you Iong enough.
We found them
as soon as we couId.
AII right.
After I`m done with them,
what do they want me to do?
Lug them back to the district
or dump them in the country...
Iet the FBI trip over them?
LegaI department says you pick.
Depends on what we want
to do with them.
This is a special report
on the war in Albania.
We`vejust received
more details...
on the Albanian girl
running for her life.
The young girl
was trying to escape...
after hearing
her family was killed.
Apparently, there was
a family connection in Canada.
Two things I know to be true...
there`s no difference between
good fIan and bad fIan...
and there is no war.
Guess who I am.
I wouId Iike to point out
that I am under medicaI care...
and taking medication,
side effects of which have--
Quite touching.
I aIso take this opportunity...
to suggest that, equaIIy,
I admit to nothing...
and I wouId Iike
my Iawyer present.
We show, and NSA confirms...
there are no nucIear devices
on the Canadian border.
There are no nucIear devices
in AIbania.
AIbania has no nucIear capacity.
Our spy sateIIites...
show no secret
terrorist training camps...
in the AIbanian hinterIand.
The border patroI, the FBI,
the RCMP report...
no--repeat--
no untoward activity...
aIong our picturesque
Canadian border.
The AIbanian government
is screaming its defense.
The worId is Iistening.
There is no war.
There`s a war.
I`m watching it on teIevision.
Who might you be?
-Conrad Brean.
-Who do you work for?
Nobody whose name
you want me to say.
It`s aII weII, but when the fit
hits the shan...
somebody has to stay
after schooI.
Who might that be?
I don`t know
what you`re taIking about.
The spy sateIIites show it.
They show no war.
Then what good are they?
Why spend a quarter triIIion
doIIars a year on defense?
What good are they?
Are they useIess or just broken?
I wouId Iike
to point out further...
that these medications
taken in conjunction--
If there`s no threat,
then where are you?
If there`s no threat,
what good are you?
You are the threat.
I`m the threat?
What have I been doing
the Iast 30 years...
that you haven`t been doing?
The Iast 30 years...
I have been working to ensure
the security of my country.
I`m sure that speaks weII
of you and your parents...
but if forced to choose between
the security of your country...
and the security of your job,
which wouId you pick?
WhiIe you hesitate,
permit me to suggest...
that they are one in the same.
I`m doing my job.
That`s what you see me doing.
I`m doing my job, too.
The constant stress
I am under...