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They gotta know?
Get with it.
Who kiIIed Kennedy?
I read the first draft
of the Warren Report.
Says he was kiIIed
by a drunk driver.
The GuIf War.
What do you see day after day?
The one smart bomb
faIIing down a chimney.
The truth?
I was in the buiIding
when we shot that shot.
We shot it in a studio
in FaIIs Church, Virginia.
1l10 scaIe modeI of a buiIding.
Is that true?
How do we know?
You take my point?
AII right.
You want me to do what?
To produce.
You want me to produce your war?
Not a war.
It`s a pageant.
We need a theme,
a song, some visuaIs.
It`s a pageant.
It`s Iike the Oscars.
That`s why we came to you.
I never won an Oscar.
That`s a shame,
but you produced the Oscars.
Indeed, I did.
You`re a writer,
that`s your script.
You`re a director,
but if you`re the producer...
nobody knows what you do.
The producer,
aII he`s got is the credit.
You see?
And some pIaques on the waII.
They don`t know what we do.
Don`t get me started.
If you never won an Oscar...
how wouId you Iike
an ambassadorship?
An ambassadorship?
That`s my payoff?
TeII me what you want.
I`d just do it
for a story to teII.
You couIdn`t teII anybody.
I`m just kidding.
-You couIdn`t teII anybody.
-Just a figure of speech.
It`s a pageant.
That`s what it is.
The country`s at war.
It`s Miss America.
You`re Bert Parks.
-Why AIbania?
What do we have
that they want?
-Why wouId they want that?
-Fuck freedom.
They want to destroy
the godIess Satan.
They want to destroy
our way of Iife.
AII right?
The president is in China.
He is deaIing with the dispatch
of the B-3 bomber to AIbania.
Why? HeIp me.
We found out they have the bomb.
-That`s good.
-And...wait a second.
The bomb`s not there...
because they`d have to have
a rocket and that shit.
They are a bunch of wogs.
Cross that out.
It`s a suitcase bomb.
I didn`t know I said that.
It`s a suitcase bomb.
You don`t need missiIes.
You can put a bomb
in a suitcase.
That`s good.
A suitcase bomb.
It`s a suitcase bomb.
When it`s cooking, it`s cooking.
We`re cooking, and it`s in...
Canada. AII right?
AIbanian terrorists
have pIaced a suitcase bomb...
in Canada in an attempt
to infiItrate it into the USA.
-That`s good.
-That`s terrific.
I`II teII you why.
It is cost effective.
It`s producing.
That`s what it is.
-It`s reaIIy great.
-I couId teII you stories.
CeciI B. De MiIIe,
The Greatest Show on Earth...
he needs an eIephant.
I got the president on the Iine.
One minute.
Needs an eIephant for a reshoot.
Know what he does?
Ames here. Yes, sir?
You Iistening?
-Nobody`s Iistening.
-I`m Iistening.
-The suitcase bomb.
-Good titIe for a movie.
PIease, write it down.
Don`t editoriaIize.
The thinking is, terrorism.
Act One:
AIbania denies everything.
The president comes on the air,
``Be caIm.``
Know what I need?
Get me Johnny Dean,
Liz Butsky, and the Fad King.
Isn`t Johnny Dean in the...
Back in NashviIIe.
-Act Two.
-We don`t need an Act Two.
Don`t forget Fad King.
We don`t need an Act Two?
We just have to hoId
their interest for 11 days.
It`s a teaser.
AbsoIuteIy right.
Grace. Teaser.
They`re getting a good reaction
on the AIbanian thing.
HeIIo, John, you two-bit
redneck shitkicker.
How the heck are you?
Get out.
He`s got a new wife.
He`s riding in a pickup truck
with a shotgun and a dog.
We need you here yesterday.
AII right?
Get your ass out here.
The president wonders about
the possibIe AIbanian backIash.
You can`t have a war
without an enemy.
We couId, but it wouId be duII.
How Iong do we need him?
We`re done in 11 days.
EIeven days. We need you.
You want to write a song for us?
Is there gonna be a back end?
Is there a back end?
Back end?
Percentage points, money.
Count on it.
Where is the back end
coming from?
It`s Iike
that yeIIow ribbon thing.
The hostages.
They tied the yeIIow ribbons
Плутовство Плутовство

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