clock?
Got it as a clock.
Lovely.
- Let's go.
- When's Schumann coming back?
Getting him right now.
I need his neck size.
I think it's 171l2.
Thinking 171l2
is not good enough.
I'm an artist,
not a factory worker.
What did he eat
behind enemy lines?
Birds, snakes.
Bullshit. He ate
tiny cheeseburgers in tin foil.
Pull a string,
they heat themselves.
We call Burger King,
Johnny Rockets.
We get the Shoe Burger
with cheese and 303 sauce...
"Behind enemy lines or anytime."
That's the slogan.
I got the copyright
on the Albanian kitten thing.
I'm gonna call Nike,
get Rodman to dye his hair.
We'll have a sneaker...
"Air Leopard."
... a high school
basketball game last night...
between Montgomery Bell
and Blair Park.
Students, during the game...
in spontaneous moment
of sheer patriotism...
threw their tennis shoes
on the court by the hundreds,
just for the Old Shoe.
Bring him back.
William Schumann...
There's no business like it.
Demonstrations are springing up
all over the country...
as Americans
show their patriotism.
You ought to get them to run
that inaugural speech by me.
Inaugural speech?
I don't know.
The White House staff
won't give up that one.
Come on. Let me close out
the thing in style.
I've come to feel it's my thing.
You take ajob, and many times,
it's just ajob...
Hell of a ride.
Isn't it?
You take the bitter
with the sweet...
or the sweet with the bitter.
What's that expression?
... feeling good
about the economy.
That's why we're voting
for the president, Ed.
What do you think?
Bob, my mind wasn't
100% made up, but now it is.
Don't go changing horses
in midstream.
Absolutely.
Who needs surprises these days?
For an economy
you can rely on...
Fucking amateurs.
Pity of it is, two more days,
and we bring it back home.
Knock wood.
Who's gonna know?
Who's gonna know what we did?
Pride of ajob well done, Stan.
It's the pride of ajob
well done, but it's more.
It's the gratitude of your party
and your president, right?
- Is that the thing?
- Indeed it is.
Dean City, Oklahoma.
Army special programs.
Tell 'em to bring
Schumann to the plane.
We'll bring him back
and stash him in the hospital.
Call the plane.
Tell me where to pick him up.
I bet you're good at chess.
I would be, I could remember
how all the pieces move.
We'll call you.
I'll do the same
in His great name...
if you have courage, Mom.
I can always feel your love.
Send, and I'll receive.
Units of 303,
the Defense Department...
confirmed early this morning,
Albanian time...
stormed the mountain hideaway
near the city of...
freeing a tired but happy
William Schumann.
A high White House source
confirms...
that he's expected
in Washington tomorrow morning.
How's that?
When we touch down tomorrow...
Big Bird meets Schumann
at the airport?
Big mistake. You got to bring
him in by stages.
Big mistake to reveal
Schumann before the election.
How so?
Sweetheart,
Schumann is the shark.
Schumann is Jaws.
You have to tease 'em.
You don't put Jaws
in the first reel of the movie.
It's the contract, sweetheart.
The contract with the election,
whether they know it or not...
is vote for me Tuesday...
Wednesday,
I will produce Schumann.
That's what they're paying
their seven bucks for.
Know what I mean?
Whatever.
Everybody's gotta learn.
Any business.
You take the fruit
of 40 years...
hard lessons, mistakes,
and you call it wisdom.
That's the truth.
End of the day,
just when you know something...
time to go home.
You got decades in you now.
You got decades left in you.
Yeah, but.