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limp-dick
film-school pansy...
take the credit?
You can't do it.
Don't you tell me that!
Don't you ever tell me that!
l am the producer!
lf l didn't step up,
you're nowhere!
l put this together
out of spit and polish!
Look at that.
That is a complete
fucking fraud...
and it looks 100% real.
lt's the best work
l've ever done in my life...
because it's so honest.
They told me l couldn't
remake Moby Dick...
from the point of view
of the whale.
$450 million domestic.
l'm not even talking
about the video.
l made this lame turkey fly.
l did it--pure Hollywood.
For once in my life,
l won't be pissed on.
Do you hear me?
l want the credit.
l'm taking it.
Shit.
He's coming down.
Could l see you a minute?
Thanks.
Do you swear to uphold...
the duties
and responsibilities...
of a citizen of
the United States of America--
to defend her
in time of peril...
to defend her from all enemies,
foreign and domestic?
Do you make this pledge
with full resolve?
Common ground...
and family.
Let's give thanks...
to the 303.
Years from now...
when we are gone...
our children's kids...
will hear this song.
Think how strong...
and proud they'll be.
Grandpa fought...
for the 303.
God bless the men...
of the 303.
Ten-hut!
Present arms!
Turning to the Hollywood page...
famed film producer
Stanley R. Motss...
died suddenly
of a massive heart attack...
while sunbathing poolside.
Mr. Motss
was 57 or 62-years-old...
depending on the bio.
His credits
include numerous films...
which America has come
to love as old classics.
This just in.
A group calling itself
"Albania Unite..."
has claimed responsibility
for the bombing moments ago...
of the village of Klos, Albania.
The president
was unavailable for comment...
but General William Scott
of the Joint Chiefs of Staff...
says he has no doubt we'll
be sending planes and troops...
back in to finish the job.Another great race today,
Johnny.
Who are you gonna
ride in the Stakes?
Eddie, like my daddy
always used to say...
and I live by it...
"Never change horses
in midstream."
Never change horses.
Sounds like a smart bet.
Always stick with a winner.
Keep America working.
Don't change horses
in midstream.
On election day,
reelect the president.
Can you step this way,
Mr. Brean?
Lift your arms, please.
That's him.
That's Mr. Fix-it.
It's right here.
You have a seat here, Connie.
He doesn't know anything.
John Levy's staff,
his assistant...
and Amy Cain, Press.
Thank you.
That'll be all.
-Want some coffee?
-Black, please.
Gaviston, bring some coffee.
Black.
You kids in this room...
what you hear and say here...
if it gets out, you leaked it.
Tell them
what they need to know.
When it broke, the president
said, "Get me Conrad Brean."
What's the thing?
He had an illegal immigrant
nanny years back?
You get ahead in the polls,
suddenly you get nervous.
He made a pass
at some secretary years ago?
A group of Firefly Girls
were here last month.
One expressed interest
in a Frederic Remington bust.
They went in the office
behind the Oval Office.
It couldn't have
been over three minutes.
The Secret Service
will confirm that.
It's not the illegal
immigrant nanny thing?
The girl's alleging...
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
Maybe we could say it was
a drug reaction to the flu.
Who's got the story?
Don't you want to know
if it's true?
What's the difference?
It's a story.
They'll run with it.
How long till it breaks?
Front page,
Washington Post, tomorrow.
That's not good.
-Where is he?
-China.
When is he due back?
They're set to leave soon.
He stays on the ground
in China at least another day.
Why?
You the Press Office?
Earn your money.
He's ill.
When do we bring him back?
I'm gonna need a day.
He's sick.
Get that out now.
Tell the jackals how sick he is.
We gotta get that out
before the story breaks.
Issue a bulletin.
He's got some rare strain--
-Won't hold.
-I need

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