it exactly
you do for the president?
My fellow Americans,
I thank a merciful God...
and I'm sure all of us will thank
that Supreme Power...
whatever we conceive
that power to be...
that peace is at hand.
The threat of nuclear terrorism
has been quelled.
We are in contact
with the Albanian premier...
who assures me...
and this government
credits his assurances...
his country
does not wish us ill...
Know any Latin?
I, Claudius.
That's what I know.
I need a Latin motto
for the patch.
The 303 patch.
... but by
a designation number, 303.
A member was left behind
what were then enemy lines.
I can only say to those
family members of Group 303...
whose members are,
I know as I speak...
gathering to comfort you.
To the parents
of the missing man...
no effort will be spared...
to find this brave man
and bring him home.
We'vejust received
this photograph of Schumann...
held by a dissident group
of Albanian terrorists.
I don't know how many of you
know Morse code...
but could you
bring the camera closer?
You'll see his sweater is worn.
It has been unraveled in places.
Those places
form dashes and dots...
and those dots spell out
a message in Morse code.
That message is,
"Courage, Mom."
He got the message through.
Not bad for government work.
Having a good time?
Haven't had this much fun
since live TV.
To the men and women
of Unit 303...
to my fellow citizens,
I say, "Courage, Mom."
I have informed Albania
that we will not rest...
until the safe return
of Sergeant Schumann.
I'm told his unit mates gave him
the nickname "Old Shoe."
Wasn't there a folk song
called "Old Shoe?"
Do you remember that?
Something like...
I don't know.
I can vaguely remember it.
Do you know
what I'm talking about?
Thank you,
ladies and gentlemen.
Good night and God bless.
Trump that, Senator Neal,
you Howdy-Doody-looking vontz.
As we reported earlier, U.S.
Serviceman Willie Schumann...
remains missing behind
enemy lines...
It's all thinking ahead.
That's what producing is.
It's like being a plumber.
Do your job right,
nobody should notice.
When you fuck up,
everything gets full of shit.
... symbol of
the military team...
Sergeant William Schumann,
the "Old Shoe."
Let's line up the president
for the Peace Prize.
Our job ends on election day.
Come on.
Just for the symmetry
of the thing?
That's right.
If Kissinger can win
the Peace Prize...
I wouldn't be surprised
if I'd won the Preakness.
But our guy did bring peace.
But there wasn't a war.
All the greater accomplishment.
Where's the money...
where's the tie-in
with throwing away shoes?
Who pays you for that?
You throw away shoes.
What are you gonna do?
Buy new ones.
We have some powerful
new friends...
at the International Association
of Shoe Manufacturers.
You guys sure get around.
Fad King is my hero.
Want to go first?
Sure.
Attaboy.
History, Connie.
Those are ratty shoes.
That's why
we're flinging them away.
You want to try some?
Go ahead.
Attaboy.
Do it again.
Go ahead. Have a ball.
Watch this.
Go on, tell your friends.
This is interesting.
I havejust been handed this.
Something just discovered.
A 1930s recording, part of
the folk song collection...
Of the Library of Congress...
and a fitting song,
if I may say so, about Shoe.
Schumann
is the military soldier...
who's been left behind
enemy lines...
Jim, can I get a word with you?
Would you like to comment
on Albania?
There is one thing
I'd like to say.
This is to the

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