us started laughing.
We called the other boy sitting
on the slope. His name was Peter.
He came down all confused,
looking frozen in the sunshine.
Katarina unbuttoned his trousers
and started playing with him.
When he came
she took him in her mouth.
He bent down and started kissing her
on the back.
She turned around, took his head in
both hands and gave him her breast.
The other boy got so excited,
so he and l started again.
lt was as nice as the first time.
Then we swam and parted. When l
came back, Karl-Henrik had returned.
We ate dinner together and drank
the red wine he had with him.
Then we slept together.
lt's never been as good, before or since.
Can you understand that?
Then l fell pregnant, of course.
Karl-Henrik, who's studying medicine,
took me to a friend who aborted it.
We were both happy.
We didn't want any children.
Not just then, anyway.
lt doesn't make sense.
None of it fits together.
Then you get a bad conscience over
small things. Can you understand?
What happens to everything
you believe in? lsn't it necessary?
Can you be one and the same person
at the same time?
l mean, was l two people...?
God, l'm being silly...
l don't have any reason
to start snivelling, anyway.
Wait, l'm going to fetch a tissue.
lt's nearly morning...
and it's still raining.
lmagine, l've been talking in a stream.
l've talked and you've listened to me.
How boring for you. Of what interest
can my life be to you?
One should be like you.
You know what l thought
when l saw your film that night?
When l came home l saw myself
in the mirror and thought: we're alike.
Don't misunderstand me, you're much
prettier, but we are alike in a way.
l think l could turn myself into you.
lf l made a real effort.
l mean inside.
You could turn yourself into me
just like that.
Although your soul would be much
too big. lt would stick out everywhere!
You should go to bed now. Otherwise
you'll fall asleep at the table.
No, l must go to bed.
Otherwise l'll fall asleep at the table.
That would be
a little too uncomfortable.
Good night.
Listen, Elisabet...
Did you speak to me last night?
Were you in my room last night?
Shall l take your mail as well?
Can l have a taste?
Bye.
My dear: l'd always like to live
like this. This silence, living cut off -
- this feeling of the battered soul
finally beginning to straighten out.
Alma's spoiling me
in the most moving manner.
l think, by the way, that she's enjoying
herself and is quite taken with me -
- even smitten in an unconscious and
delightful way. lt's fun studying her.
Sometimes she cries over past sins -
- an episodic orgy with a totally
strange boy followed by an abortion.
She complains that her notions of life
don't accord with her actions.
l see you're reading a play? That's
a healthy sign, l'll tell the doctor.
Don't you think we should leave soon?
l'm starting to miss town.
Aren't you?
Would you like to make me
really happy?
l know it's a sacrifice,
but l need your help right now.
lt's nothing dangerous.
But l want you to talk to me.
Doesn't have to be special.
Anything, what we're having for dinner -
- or if you think the water's cold after
the storm. lf it's too cold to swim.
We only need to talk a few minutes.
One minute.
You can read from your book.
Just say a few words.
l must try not to get angry. You
remain silent and that's your business.
But now l need you to talk to me.
My dear woman,
can't you say just a single word?
l knew you'd refuse.
You can't know how l feel.
l always thought great artists felt
great compassion for other people.
That they created from a sense of
great sympathy and a need to help.
That was stupid of me.
You've used me. Now that you don't
need me you just throw me away.
Yes, l hear very well how it sounds,
how false it sounds!
You've used me, now you're
discarding me. Every word!
And then these glasses!
You've really hurt me. You've
laughed at me behind