at work.
Okay.
But I'll miss you.
- Whoa!
- Thank God you're home.
I go to work and you guys
party all night without me?
- Come on in. Have a beer.
- I've got to take a shower.
I don't mean to be antisocial,
but I'm really tired.
- [Lana's Mom] How was work?
- Whatever, Mom. The usual.
Mom, what the hell's goiron?
God, what did you tell them?
We called work.
- We know you werert there.
- Why is he talking to me?
What are you, my dad?
Why are you all staring at me?
Get away! You're gross. You're
horrible people. Get out of my room!
Honey, we're worried about you.
We're just trying to save you.
[Lana]
You've got a sick way ofr showirit.
- Hey, what's up?
- Hey! Oh, my God.
What's up?
Brandon, turn around and walk out
that door now. This is a nuthouse.
- That's fine.
- This is not a nuthouse.
I'm just worried about you.
- What's going on?
- Just need to talk
about a couple things.
- Why do you need to talk to Brandon?
- There's things I don't understand...
'cause you took a leak with me and...
Pardon my French, Mom.
But you shook off your dick.
What was that bullshit about paying
child support fror a kid you can't visit?
You been spoutir nothing but lies
since the minute you came into town.
- When you rode in
on your pussy-whipped faggot horse.
- Tom.
The fact is, when it comes right down to
it, you're nothing but a goddamn liar.
- You know what we do to liars?
- No, you guys.
- There was never any Memphis, was there?
- [John] Whoo!
Oh, my God.
We're totally fuckir with you.
Seriously.
Go get Brandon a beer.
Wondering about this paper
that you're in, Teena.
Odd. It's our ticket.
They're pretty hungry for news here.
Yeah. But what
I'm wondering about is the name.
Huh, Brandon?
I mean, huh, Teena?
[Brandon]
Boy, I really frucked up.
I borrowed one of Candace's checks, and
I got that speeding ticket and fake I.D.
I guess I need to learn
to stay home, huh?
[Lana's Mom]
I invite you into my home...
and you expose my daughter
to your sickness.
Did you ever think
about Lana in all this?
That's all
I've been thinking about.
You know, Lana, if you are a lesbian,
you just need to tell me.
- John, I'm not. It's not...
- You gotta stop it.
It's not Lana, it's me.
I'm so sorry. Mom, I can explain.
We can work this out.
I have this thing
and I've been to counseling.
You fucking pervert.
Are you a girl or are you not?
Are you a girl
or are you not?
- There's a real easy way
to solve this problem.
- Fuck you!
- Get the fuck off of me!
- No, Tom! Get out of my house!
I should fuckir kill you
for lying to Lana.
There's not gonna be
any killir goir on, okay?
Do you trust me enough to let Brandon
show me? Then I'll tell you.
You trust me enough?
Huh?
[Lana]
Okay, John?
All right.
Okay. Thank you, God.
Fuck me!
- Holy fuck!
- Get over here.
- I'm so sorry, Brandon.
- Lana, I gotta explain.
No, no. Button up your pants.
Don't show me anything.
Think about it.
- I know you're a guy.
- Okay, but you gotta listen.
I was born with this weirdness.
It's sort of like a birth defect.
I mean, it's actually not that rare,
but these doctors are trying to fix it.
But I have really weird stuff too.
Don't be scared.
Look how beautiful it is out there.
[Brandon]
Oh, Lana.
[Lana] That's us.
We can just beam ourselves out there.
[Brandon]
So, what are you gonna tell 'em?
I'm gonna tell 'em
what they wanna hear.
I'm gonna tell 'em
what we know is true.
Mom,
I seen him in the full flesh.
I seen it.
I know he's a man.
Problem done.
Now, let's go to bed.
Son of a bitch,
what have you done to my baby?
What the fuck are you,
you motherfucker? Huh?
Tell me!
[John]
You little liar.
- Kate, get her out ofr here.
- [Kate] Come on.
All I need's the truth,
little buddy. Come on.
All right. I'm sorry to put you
through this. Wait.
- Wait, please. I'll do it!
- Unstrap his belt.
Just turn the light off.
I'll do it. Please!