Cozumel for sailfish...
and September,
a bunch of us guys...
get together,
go down to Mexico...
and shoot white-wing dove.
I personally can't see that,
shooting birds.
It's cheaper than shooting craps
and better than shooting people.
I can't see shooting doves.
My dentist had this freezer
filled with doves.
I hate that.
There are so many of them
down there...
that they eat up all the crops.
And as for the crops...
I personally feel
whoever gets there first...
should eat 'em.
How come you told me
you couldn't dance?
Couldn't dance?
Darling, I've been waltzing
since I've been on solid food.
You see?
Excuse me, old buddy.
- We're still dancing.
- Can I talk to you a minute?
Did you tell my buddy
that you played ball at Auburn?
Come on, Craig, let's dance.
Yes, I did,
but I was just kidding.
Well, you're a liar.
I watch every game they play.
They ain't got no scatback.
And they ain't got nobody
named Blake either.
You understand
what I'm saying to you?
Hey, big fella,
we don't want no hassle.
Then stay out of it.
We're just having
a good time here.
You met my buddy Blake.
He's having a good time.
Come on, now. Take it easy.
If I told you once,
I told you a thousand times...
it ain't right.
It just ain't right!
Goddamn it.
Goddamn it!
Excuse me.
How's it going?
It's gonna be all right.
Let me see. Come here.
You got hit.
Who are you?
Joe Santo.
Santo.
I'm sorry.
I just came in here--
Hey, were you
really curling champion?
That thing with the ice
and the brooms?
Yep. Why don't you wash off?
I'm sure you'll be all right.
We'll wait for you outside, OK?
All right. Good.
Sorry I wasn't here to help.
Hey, Blake, is this house
for sale or what?
No, not exactly.
It's my parents' house.
They on vacation?
No. They're dead.
Then it's yours.
No, it's theirs.
If they're dead,
it's got to be yours.
Shut up, you asshole.
Do you know that you have
the most gorgeous collection...
of cut glass out there?
That's my grandmother
you're looking at there.
That was her favorite chair.
Look, Mary...
that whole thing
ought to be in a museum.
Hey, Craig!
Been looking for you. Lunch.
How you feeling?
Got up a little late.
I wish you'd wind your clock
every once in a while.
I had to beat 'em
with ol' Lester here.
- The big server.
- Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
I assume
you acquired that ear...
on one of your more peculiar
pursuits of higher meaning?
That's right.
Don't y'all ever get tired of
these damn club sandwiches?
I'm gonna order hash
up here one day.
They wouldn't serve it to you.
Harold!
I want some
red flannel hash, Harold.
Guess whose hands
are over your eyes...
and win yourself
a sweet surprise.
Amy, don't encourage him.
Golda Meir.
No, you big silly,
but you get a kiss anyway.
Listen, dearies,
I am having the awfulest time...
finding an authentic
for my party this year.
Can't some
of you young bucks help?
Like that one-man band guy
that fell in his drum?
No. You know, anything
authentic for the bridge room.
Craig, be a muffin
and find something for me...
will you, honey?
You got the right man, Amy.
He knows every weirdo in town.
That's three horses.
What?
You can send me a check, Halsey.
You bet.
Wait up a sec.
I'll walk out with you.
Don't bother.
I'll let you know
when I've got it wrapped up.
You sure, now?
Eleven.
Good. Come on, now.
Push it up.
Stand it up. Twelve.
Twelve.
Twelve.
You should've had fifteen.
Them judges will read
them quadriceps like road maps.
How's the promotion going?
Good. Good.
Got 40 entries already.
Good.
Guys coming in
from all over the country...
but there ain't a one of 'em
gonna be able to touch you...
by the time we get through.
They talk about
that Doug Stewart from Amarillo.
Well, Doug Stewart
is gonna mess up his britches...
when he sees you.
Because with your body,
my know-how...
we're going all the way.
Where's all the way?
Don't give me
that