honest with you:
We've gotta get
some food somewhere.
- Right?
- Right.
You can't help us with food,
but you can help in another way.
What's that?
Have you got a welI-to-do widow or
the wife of a soldier on your farm?
Well yes, there's plenty around.
You arrange to billet us
with one ofthem.
Only not too ugly,
I mean a woman
that wouldn't give a man
a stomach ache.
And somebody that's not
over 70?
If possible, a younger one
would be better.
Got you.
- May I go into action?
- Do it.
But I have a feeling that
you're going to let us down!
Me letting you down?
Of course you will.
She's not gonna feed
twenty-seven men
unless you really
please her.
You'll have to work
very hard, miner!
I'll put my heart into it!
My other boot is even worse.
Let's sew a half-belt
on your underpants, Sasha,
and burn your britches.
Hey, guys! Here's the boss lady!
Just look at that!
Of all the dirty tricks!
Take a look at her!
Everything's lost!
I'm gonna go and clip that chairman
a couple right on the button.
- Why are you so upset?
- Why? Are you blind or what?
She's not a woman,
she's a human monument!
Just a regular woman
in a skirt,
complete with all the attractions
you could want.
- My type exactly!
- She scares me just to look at her!
I saw one like that at an exhibition
before the war.
A woman made of stone, standing
at the entrance. Just like this one!
So what?
You're not exactly up
to her size, you know.
How can you have lived
so long
and still be so ignorant about
what every woman knows?
What is it I'm so ignorant about?
That the smaller the bug is,
the harder it stings.
- Did you ever study ancient history?
- No, I never did.
In my trade as a carpenter,
I never needed to. Why?
There was a great conqueror,
Alexander of Macedonia.
He and another
Roman warrior
who came after him,
Julius Caesar,
had a motto:
I came... I saw...
I conquered!
That's my motto, too,
and that woman's size
doesn't scare me away.
Can I have a go at her?
I guess you can give it a try.
I don't mind because
we just can't be worse off.
Only I still think you're not going to
die of natural causes, miner.
Everything will be all right!
Do they really need
this much compost?
Hello, Natalya Stepanovna!
Comrade Sergeant, you've picked
yourself a good observation point.
Pipe down, you jerk!
He's out there trying to help us all,
and you kid around.
Pyotr Fedotovich,
fetch me the buckets.
I'm returning your portrait...
Natalya Stepanovna,
shall I go feed the lambs?
I might as well...
Still starving, spongers?
What's he so happy about?
He's a real hero.
He's little,
but that doesn't count...
It's always the little bugs
that bite the worst.
He goes in to win battles,
like the fighters of ancient times.
Did you ever study
ancient history?
I don't know
history at all.
Too bad,
you missed a lot.
For example, there used to be
a great warrior,
Alexander...
Alexander...
Oh, what's his name...
- Alexander...
- Suvorov?
No, no, it wasn't Suvorov!
Alexander Macedonskov.
That was a strange name,
bloody strange!
He followed a rule that guided
his actions against the enemy:
I came... I saw... I plundered.
He plundered them so much
that the enemy couldn't
get over it
for a hundred years.
What nationality
was he?
- Nationality?
- Yes.
Alexander, you mean?
Yeah...
He was a citizen
of his own country.
What country?
His own country,
and that's that!
Camouflage and silence -
those are the two main things.
If you're too hungry to sleep,
pretend to anyway.
What good is camouflage
when even those out in the street
can hear my stomach rumbling.
Those damn hoarders!
They won't feed
their own soldiers!
They're all counterrevolutionaries
in this collective farm.
Lopakhin, are you sleeping?
No.
- Don't doze off.
- No, I'm wide awake.
You'd be in better condition if
you had a couple of shots of vodka.
But there's not a chance to get it
from