suppressed heterosexual side
is in a spin all the time!
You all thought l was gay, even
when l was fucking straight!
Dirk, we think it's great, mate.
What's so fucking great
about being a poofter, Danny?
Nothing, Dirk, just...
..finish the bathroom.
That's just
fucking typical, Daniel!
l'd like to declare l've got
a problem with that too.
You want me to put on
a fucking pink apron, Danny?
You want me to put on
the fucking washing-up gloves
and lick the boots
of the hetero-fascist
sterility conspiracy thing?
No fucking way, pal!
l'm not
some mincing fucking queen,
lick the boots
of you hetero fucks!
''Oh, give the fag some
hetero foot massage routine
''when he comes in.''
Bullshit!
Gay men are dying, Danny.
And you want me
to clean the bath.
Dirk, just forget it, mate.
You don't mean that,
do you, Danny?
What you really mean is,
''All you filthy
little arse bandits
''should be nailed to a tree.''
lsn't that so, Danny?
(Sighs)
Dirk,
this newly installed
sophisticated gay radar of yours
is picking up
shit from the cosmos
that just ain't fucking there.
l've got my own shit
to worry about.
l've lived
in 49 shared households
in what seems as many years.
l've been ripped off, raided,
threatened, burnt out, shot at,
cheated on, scabbed
in every one of those years.
My beds are foam slabs
on the floor.
My cupboards are stacks
of stolen milk crates.
l've lived
with tent-dwelling bank clerks,
albino moontanners,
nitro suckers,
psycho fucking drama queens,
acid eaters,
mushroom farmers,
fucking brothel crawlers,
fridge pissers,
hard-core separatist lesbians,
and obscurely
tiger-throated Japanese girls!
And now the best friend l've
ever had in the fucking world
won't even fucking talk to me!
l'm in a psycho fucking
nightmare from hell,
and l'm fucking fed up with it!
(Quietly) So, l suggest, pal...
..that you tune in...
..and chill fucking out.
Nobody asks me
about my problems, do they?
Nobody asks me
about my loopy parents
and their endless
fucking divorce case.
l've got to give evidence,
you know.
They've both subpoenaed me,
you know.
l didn't know.
You didn't ask...
..did you?
They're very, very fit.
You have to admit
they're very, very fit.
Dirk's gay.
l always thought he was.
l baked some scones,
if you want.
lt's a new recipe.
( FOOTSTEPS APPROACH )
TAYLOR: You...you OK
in there, little buddy?
( POlGNANT MUSlC )
(Sighs)
SONG: § Who's going
to tell you when
§ lt's too late... §
Thought you might need
some supplies
in there, little buddy.
Had to make everything
flat for you.
SONG: § Can't go on
§ Thinking nothing's wrong
§ Who's going to drive you home
§ Tonight? §
NlNA: Fuck!
Fucking little jerk.
§ Who's going to pick you up
§ When you fall? §
ANYA: Cigarette?
§ Who's going to hang it up
§ When you call? §
There is a man
in a spaceship...
..floating above a planet...
..which is like a brain.
lt can read from his mind.
The planet recreated
his dead wife...
..from his memory.
But...she wasn't
exactly the same.
She was like a photocopy.
So, he hates her.
He locks her in a room
to be rid of her.
But she tears through the door
like if it was paper...
..just to be with him.
She loves him...
..but he hates her.
So...
..she tries to kill herself,
but she can't die.
So, she comes back to life
like the resurrection.
lt's only when he sees the pain
she's going through...
..that he's able to love her...
..for what she is.
You understand?
§ Who's going to drive you home
§ Tonight?
§ You know you can't go on
§ Thinking nothing's wrong
§ Who's going to drive you home
§ Tonight? §
( LOUD BANGlNG )
(Clears throat)
DANNY!
''There once was a man
who used to masturbate so much
''that he grew
very fond of his hand.''
(Laughs) Hey...
you're a writer, dude!
l'm a writer?
You're a writer.
Can't get much better
than 'Penthouse', dude.
( BUZZER SOUNDS )
Sammy?
Flip, what are you doing here?