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A quick what?
- What?
- I don't remember...
- You promised to marry me.
Well, it's very simple:
I'm filing a complaint.
You'll soon know what hit you!
You forgot your promise,
but you won't forget me!
I can promise you that!
- Did it work?
- You bet!
A ticket inspector wife
has many advantages:
First of all,
she's almost always absent.
The uniform is supplied.
Oh, I nearly forgot:
When her husband dies,
a ticket inspector can
transport the body for free
anywhere in the USSR
to have him buried.
Are you pulling my leg?
You are! You bastards!
When economic growth slows down,
you get a recession.
If I understand correctly,
young man,
by an inefficient economy,
you're implying
the Socialist economy.
I just solved a theoretical problem.
It's mathematics, not ideology.
Don't be clever. According to you,
the Socialist economy isn't viable.
What about Marxism-Leninism?
Do you want to abolish that, too?
Hello, Plato?
Get over here now.
Viktor's getting crucified.
Koretski's doing him down.
- Not now.
- You gotta help him.
- We're waiting.
- I'm coming.
I have to go.
I really do.
For the well-being of our country,
generations of Soviets
died of hunger,
lived in slums,
and gave their lives.
For these ideas
that you trample on...
Young man, one last question...
Sorry to interrupt you,
but I think that Comrade...
Koretski is dramatizing things.
It's a debate. We present
our ideas, albeit questionable.
That's strange logic.
Logic is never strange.
Either it is logical or it isn't.
But you can show anything
with logic.
I can show you, for example...
that a crocodile...
Is that how you draw it?
Is it a good likeness?
So, a crocodile is longer
than it is green,
because it is long
on top and underneath
whereas it is only green on top.
What crap!
Just for Comrade Koretski,
I'll demonstrate
that it's more green than wide.
It's green lengthwise
and widthwise,
whereas it's only wide
widthwise!
Thanks a lot.
I knew I did the right thing
to call you.
You're brilliant!
Maria, it's me.
Viktor had caused a huge scandal.
But I managed to avoid the worst.
Mark made sandwiches.
We celebrated,
I didn't notice the time. Want some?
They're good...
Are you mad at me?
I'll get dressed...
Know who I was up against?
Comrade Koretski.
Does the name ring a bell?
Maria.
Mrs. Koretski.
Maria...
He played games all the time...
To him, life was just a game.
And this is where it led.
Russia's a bear:
You think you're playing with it,
but she's really devouring you.
Is Viktor the one
who fell off the balcony?
Who are you?
- District Attorney.
- Judge?
I'm in charge of special cases.
This is provocation!
Where's your warrant?
I know my rights.
You have to have a warrant.
What's your name?
Chmakov.
I'm not having this.
- You'll be fired!
- Fine!
Everyone says
that Plato was a genius.
That's bullshit! Viktor was.
Viktor was a genius
in mathematics.
Whereas Plato
was a "rat charmer",
a pied piper of Hamelin,
making people follow him
like rats...
We live in the age
of these rat charmers.
Gorbachev was one, so was Yeltsin.
I spot them with my eyes closed.
I know that you were
the chief accountant
of Plato's company...
which made brooms.
I need to take my medicine.
What brooms?
They wrote theses
for rich idiots.
1,000 rubles per thesis.
- And they stone-washed jeans.
- Why?
From the start of perestroika,
he started drumming into them
that a new age of freedom
was coming.
But they still needed money
to start off with.
The two of them took their Ph D's,
became doctors,
but the idiots gave up science
to stone-wash jeans.
But it was the Georgian
who really cleared up.
Do you want a drink?
- Viktor, they're fake Levis!
- Of course.
We'll write you a brilliant thesis,
but why do you need it?
I run a Lada garage in Georgia.
Moussa just messed up
his 5th pair.
So?
You can speak in front of him.
I'm embarrassed to be

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