creep, where are you?
Yes!
- Rip his head off...!
You're dead, kid.
Where are you, you little creep?!
Harry, I'm coming in!
Oh, no! I'm really scared.
It's too late for you, kid, we're
in the house. We're gonna get you.
Okay, come and get me!
Why, you...!
Now you're dead!
I'm gonna kill that kid!
Why'd you take your shoes off?
Why are you dressed like a chicken?
I'm up here, you morons.
Come and get me.
You guys give up, or are you
thirsty for more?
Heads up!
Don't worry, Marv.
I'll get him for you.
Yes!
He's only a kid, Harry.
We can take him.
Ah, shut up, will you?
What is it?
You're missing some teeth.
Where? It's my gold tooth.
My gold tooth. I'll kill him.
I'll kill him!
You bomb me with
one more can, kid...
...and I'll snap off your cojones
and boil them in motor oil!
911 emergency.
Hello, my house is being robbed.
My address is 656 Lincoln Boulevard.
My name is Murphy.
You never know what's up there.
There he is!
I got you! I got him, Harry.
I got him.
Harry, give me a hand!
I got him!
Harry, help me. Get up!
I got him.
What are you doing?
Harry, don't move.
Don't move.
Marv, what are you doing?
Did I get him?
Did I get him?!
Where is it? Where is it?
Never mind that. Here!
How do you like it, huh? You jerk!
Get that kid, before l...
Get that kid!
Where'd he go?
Maybe he committed suicide.
Down here, you big horse's ass!
Come get me before I call the police.
- Let's get him!
- Wait, wait.
It's just what he wants us to do:
Go back through his fun house
so we get all tore up.
He's gonna call the cops!
From a tree house?!
Come on.
Out the window?
I'm not going out the window.
Why, you scared? Are you afraid?
Come on, get out here.
Come on.
Come on!
- Come on. Keep going.
- Let's go back, Harry.
Shut it, Marv.
Hey, guys!
Check this out.
Go back. Go back.
There he is!
Hey, I'm calling the cops!
Wait, wait!
He wants us to follow him.
I got a better idea. Come on.
Hiya, pal.
We outsmarted you this time.
Get over here!
What are you gonna do, Harry?
I'll do exactly what he did to us.
Burn his head with a blowtorch.
I'll smash his face with an iron.
I'd like to slap him
in the face with a paint can!
Shove a nail through his foot!
I'm gonna bite off every one of
these little fingers, one at a time.
Come on. Let's get you home.
Wow! This is great.
Nice move,
leaving the water running.
Now we know each and every house
that you've hit.
We've been looking for you guys
for a long time.
Yeah. Well, remember,
we're the "Wet Bandits."
- Wet Bandits, that's W-E-T...
- Shut up! Get in the car!
Hey, come on. Come on.
- Hand off the head, pal!
- Come on.
I'm a bad parent. I'm a bad parent.
No, you're not.
You're beating yourself up there.
This happens.
These things happen, you know.
You want to talk about bad parents?
Look at us.
We're on the road 48, 49 weeks a year.
We hardly see our families.
Joe, over there. Gosh, you know...
...he forgets his kids' names
half the time.
Ziggy over there,
he's never even met his kid.
Eddy... Let's just hope
none of them write a book about him.
Tell me, have you gone on vacation
and left your child home?
No.
But I did leave one
at a funeral parlor once.
Yeah, it was terrible too.
I was all distraught and everything.
The wife and I, we left the little
tyke there in the funeral parlor.
All day. You know, we went
back at night, when we...
...came to our senses,
there he was.
Apparently, he was there
all day with a corpse.
Now, he was okay.
You know, after six, seven weeks.
He came around
and started talking again.
They get over it.
Kids are resilient like that.
We shouldn't talk about this.
I was just trying to cheer you up.
I'm sorry I did.
Mom?
Mom?
Kevin!
Merry Christmas, sweetheart.
Oh, Kevin, I'm so sorry.
Where's everybody else?
Oh, baby, they couldn't come.
They wanted to so much...
I didn't fall asleep in the back
and drool