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be a moron.
Six, seven, eight...
...nine, 10, 11.
Okay, half in this van,
half in this one. Let's go.
Have a good trip.
Bring me back something French.
There's no way we'll make this plane.
It leaves in 45 minutes.
Think positive!
You be positive.
I'll be realistic.
Ma'am. Ma'am.
Excuse me, your power is fixed...
...but the phones are a mess.
It'll take a couple of days to fix.
- Especially around the holidays.
- Thanks.
Did you count heads?
Eleven, including me.
Five boys, six girls,
two drivers...
...and a partridge in a pear tree.
Hold the plane!
- Did we miss it?
- You just made it.
Yay!
Single seats only in coach.
Take whatever's free.
I get a window seat!
Kids are in coach, we're front.
Seats Four A and B.
Four A and B. I'll take your coats.
- Fasten your seat belts.
- Champagne, please.
- It's free, isn't it?
- Oh, yes.
We made it.
Do you believe it?
Hope we didn't forget anything.
What are you doing out of costume?
Mom?
- That's real. It's real crystal.
- Yeah, so?
- Put them in your purse.
- Frank, I can't do that.
Just... Put them in your purse!
Yeah. Fill it up.
Fill it up.
Fill it up, please.
Thank you.
Don't you feel like a heel, flying
first class with the kids in coach?
No. The kids are fine.
The only time I ever flew as a kid was
in the station wagon, not to France.
We had to go to Aunt Laura
and Uncle Arthur's.
Kids are okay. They're having
the time of their lives.
Hello?
Mom?
Dad?
Mom? Dad?
Where are you guys?
Buzz?
Buzz?
Buzz?
Megan?
Hello?
Hello?
Rod?
Uncle Frank?
Uncle Frank, is this a joke?
Megan? Linnie?
Is this a joke?
It's only my imagination.
Only my imagination.
The cars are still here.
They didn't go to the airport!
I made my family disappear.
You're completely helpless.
You know, Kevin, you're what
the French call "les incompetents".
Kevin, I'm going to feed you
to my tarantula.
Kevin, you are such a disease.
Fifteen people, and you're
the only one who has to make trouble.
Look what you did, you little jerk!
I made my family disappear.
I'm free!
Woo-hoo!
Wow!
No clothes on anybody.
Sickening!
Cool! Firecrackers!
I'll save these for later.
Buzz, I'm going through
all your private stuff.
You better come out and pound me!
Buzz, your girlfriend! Woof!
Who is it?
It's me. Snakes.
I got the stuff.
Leave it on the doorstep
and get the hell out.
All right, Johnny,
but what about my money?
What money?
A.C. said you had some dough for me.
Is that a fact?
How much do I owe you?
A.C. said ten percent.
Too bad A.C. ain't in charge no more.
Guys, I'm eating junk
and watching rubbish!
You better come out and stop me!
He'll call you when he gets out.
I'll tell you what I'll give you.
I'm gonna give you
to the count of ten...
... to get your ugly, yellow...
... no-good keister off my property...
... before I pump your guts
full of lead.
All right, I'm sorry. I'm going.
One, two... ten.
Keep the change, you filthy animal.
Mom!
What's the matter?
Honey?
- I have a terrible feeling.
- About what?
That we didn't do something.
You feel that way
because we left in a hurry.
- We took care of everything.
- Did I turn off the coffee?
No.
I did.
Did you lock up?
Yeah.
Did you close the garage?
That's it.
I forgot to close the garage.
That's it.
No, that's not it.
What else could we forget?
Kevin!
Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!
Oof!
The captain's doing all he can.
Your phones are out of order.
We'll call when we land.
I'm sure it's okay.
Horrible. Horrible.
Just horrible.
How could we do this?
We forgot him.
We didn't forget him,
we just miscounted.
What kind of mother am I?
If it makes you feel any better,
I forgot my reading glasses.
Five families gone
on one block alone.
They all told me
from their own mouths.
It's almost too easy.
Check it out:
All the houses with nobody home...
...have automatic timers
on their lights.
But I got it all figured out.
Watch this.

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