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you want to stay at the airport,
maybe we can get you on standby.
It is a possibility
that a seat will open up.
- Is that okay?
- Yes. I'll wait.
I'll miss you, honey.
Don't you get lost.
I took a shower, washing every
body part with actual soap.
Including all my major crevices...
...between my toes
and in my belly button...
...which I never did before
but enjoyed.
I washed my hair with adult formula
shampoo and used creme rinse.
I can't find my toothbrush,
so I'll pick one up today.
Other than that, I'm in good shape.
All right! Buzz's life savings.
I thought the Murphys
went to Florida.
You're one of the great
cat burglars of the world.
You think you can keep it
down a little in there?
You've reached the Murphy's.
Please leave a message after the beep.
This is Peter McCallister again.
We're in Paris at my brother's.
Let me give you the number here.
The country code is 33.
The area code is 1-4 and the number
is 694-876...
- Hey, Harry.
- Yeah?
That house we ran last night,
was that the McCallister's?
- Call me in Paris.
- You're right. They're gone.
- I knew they were.
- Silver tuna tonight.
How may I help you?
Is this toothbrush approved
by the American Dental Association?
Well, I don't know.
It doesn't say, hon.
Can you please find out?
- Herb.
- Yeah?
I got a question here
about a toothbrush.
Do you know, is this brush approved
by the American Dental Association?
I don't know.
Oh, hon, you pay for that here.
Wait, you have to pay for that.
Son! Son!
Jimmy, stop that boy!
Hey! Hey, kid!
Come back here!
Stop it, will you?
Come here.
I'm a criminal.
What's so funny?
What's so funny?
Why are you laughing?
You did it again.
You left the water running.
Why do you do that?
I told you not to do it.
- It's our calling card.
- Calling card.
All the great ones leave their mark.
We're the wet bandits.
You're sick, you know?
You're really sick.
- I'm not sick.
- Yes, you are.
It's a sick thing to do.
- We don't need that.
- Don't tell me...
I can do it if I want to.
It's not sick. Hey, watch out!
Hey! Hey!
You've gotta watch for traffic.
- Sorry.
- Damn.
Santy don't visit
the funeral homes, buddy.
Okay, okay.
Merry Christmas.
What's the matter?
I don't like the way
that kid looked at me.
- Ever seen him before?
- I saw a hundred kids this week.
Let's see what house he goes into.
Why's he going faster?
I told you something's wrong.
He looked at me weird.
Why would he run?
Maybe he went in the church.
- I'm not going in there.
- Me neither.
Let's get out of here.
When those guys come back,
I'll be ready.
Did they come back?
From Paris?
We'll come back tomorrow.
Maybe they'll be gone.
We better go before somebody sees us.
Look what I found in the kitchen.
Frank, those are for later.
Do you want a little shrimp, huh?
Do you speak English?
Well, is there...
- Did you get anybody?
- I am looking for my son!
No, I can't find anybody.
They're all shopping.
Nobody's home for the holidays.
Never mind, forget it.
- This is so pointless.
- What?
We're here rotting in this apartment.
Kevin's at home.
Mom's at the airport.
- So?
- You're not worried about Kevin?
Why should I be? He acted like a jerk
and now he caught it in the butt.
He's so little and helpless.
Don't you think he's freaked?
The trout can use a couple of days
in the real world.
You're not worried
something might happen?
No. For three reasons:
A. I'm not that lucky.
Two: We have smoke detectors...
...and D: We live in the most boring
street in the United States...
...where nothing even remotely
dangerous will ever happen. Period.
Who is it?
It's Little Nero's.
I have your pizza.
Leave it on the doorstep
and get out of here.
What about the money?
What money?
Well, you have to pay
for your pizza, sir.
Is that a fact?
How much do I owe

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