fun house
so we get all tore up.
He's gonna call the cops!
From a tree house?!
Come on.
Out the window?
I'm not going out the window.
Why, you scared? Are you afraid?
Come on, get out here.
Come on.
Come on!
- Come on. Keep going.
- Let's go back, Harry.
Shut it, Marv.
Hey, guys!
Check this out.
Go back. Go back.
There he is!
Hey, I'm calling the cops!
Wait, wait!
He wants us to follow him.
I got a better idea. Come on.
Hiya, pal.
We outsmarted you this time.
Get over here!
What are you gonna do, Harry?
I'll do exactly what he did to us.
Burn his head with a blowtorch.
I'll smash his face with an iron.
I'd like to slap him
in the face with a paint can!
Shove a nail through his foot!
I'm gonna bite off every one of
these little fingers, one at a time.
Come on. Let's get you home.
Wow! This is great.
Nice move,
leaving the water running.
Now we know each and every house
that you've hit.
We've been looking for you guys
for a long time.
Yeah. Well, remember,
we're the "Wet Bandits."
- Wet Bandits, that's W-E-T...
- Shut up! Get in the car!
Hey, come on. Come on.
- Hand off the head, pal!
- Come on.
I'm a bad parent. I'm a bad parent.
No, you're not.
You're beating yourself up there.
This happens.
These things happen, you know.
You want to talk about bad parents?
Look at us.
We're on the road 48, 49 weeks a year.
We hardly see our families.
Joe, over there. Gosh, you know...
...he forgets his kids' names
half the time.
Ziggy over there,
he's never even met his kid.
Eddy... Let's just hope
none of them write a book about him.
Tell me, have you gone on vacation
and left your child home?
No.
But I did leave one
at a funeral parlor once.
Yeah, it was terrible too.
I was all distraught and everything.
The wife and I, we left the little
tyke there in the funeral parlor.
All day. You know, we went
back at night, when we...
...came to our senses,
there he was.
Apparently, he was there
all day with a corpse.
Now, he was okay.
You know, after six, seven weeks.
He came around
and started talking again.
They get over it.
Kids are resilient like that.
We shouldn't talk about this.
I was just trying to cheer you up.
I'm sorry I did.
Mom?
Mom?
Kevin!
Merry Christmas, sweetheart.
Oh, Kevin, I'm so sorry.
Where's everybody else?
Oh, baby, they couldn't come.
They wanted to so much...
I didn't fall asleep in the back
and drool all over you, did I?
- You do drool!
- Shut up!
Kevin, my boy. How are you?
You're all right.
I love you. You okay?
It's cool that you didn't
burn the place down.
Thanks, Buzz.
Wait a minute.
How'd you guys get home?
On the morning flight you didn't
want to wait for.
- Oh, no. Oh! Thank you.
- Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Someone has to find an open store.
I went shopping yesterday.
You, shopping?
I got some milk, eggs
and fabric softener.
- What?
- No kidding?
What a funny guy.
What else did you do
while we were away?
Just hung around.
Bring your stuff upstairs.
He went shopping? He doesn't know how
to tie his shoe. He's going shopping?
Honey, what's this?
Kevin! What did you do
to my room?(PHONE RINGS)
KATE:
Where's my suitcase?
PETER: Who took my shirt?
HARRY:
Miss. Young lady!
Excuse me. Girls!
Hey, little fella. Hey!
Excuse me, girls. Girls!
Hey, big fella!
LESLIE: Help me make the beds
in the living room.
- Come on down here!
- Ma'am!
Hey, son!
Big fella.
Hey, little guy! Little guy!
Pete's brother
and his family are here.
WOMAN OVER PHONE:
Trish is going to Montreal.
Montreal? Oh, her family's there.
- Then we're off.
- When?
- Tomorrow.
- You're not ready, are you?
Uncle Frank won't let me
watch the movie...
...but the big kids can.
Why can't I?
I'm on the phone.
When do you come back?
Not till then?
It's not even rated R.
He's just being a jerk.
Kevin, if Uncle Frank says no...
...then it must be really bad.