excuse me, this one's
a little out of sorts.
Don't worry about me.
I spoke to your husband.
And don't worry about your home.
It's in good hands.
There are 15 people, and only you
have to make trouble.
I'm getting dumped on.
You're the only one acting up.
Now get upstairs.
I am upstairs, dummy!
The third floor?
- Go.
- It's scary up there.
Fuller'll be up in a little while.
I don't want to sleep with Fuller.
He wets the bed.
He'll pee all over me. I know it.
We'll put him somewhere else.
I'm sorry.
It's too late. Get upstairs.
Everyone in this family hates me!
Then ask Santa for a new family.
I don't want a new family. I don't
want any family. Families suck!
Stay up there. I don't want
to see you again tonight.
I don't want to see you
for the rest of my life.
I don't want to see
anybody else either.
I hope you don't mean that.
You'd feel pretty sad if you woke up
and didn't have a family.
No, I wouldn't.
Then say it again.
Maybe it'll happen.
I hope I never see any
of you jerks again!
I wish they would all just disappear.
- Where are they?
- I don't know. She said 8 sharp.
Peter!
We slept in!
Hi, I'm Mitch Murphy.
I live across the street.
You guys going out of town?
We're going to Florida.
Well, first we're going to Missouri
to pick up my grandma.
You know the McCallisters
are going to France?
Do you know if it's cold?
- Do these vans get good mileage?
- Kid, I don't know. Hit the road!
Do a head count.
Get everyone in the vans.
Where are the passports?
I put them in the microwave to dry.
How fast does this go?
Does it have automatic transmission?
Does it have 4-wheel drive?
Look, I told you before, kid.
Don't bother me. Now, beat it!
Line up in front of the van.
- Line up and shut up!
- Wow!
Shut up!
I need a head count.
One, two, three...
Eleven, 92, 12...
Buzz, don't be a moron.
Six, seven, eight...
...nine, 10, 11.
Okay, half in this van,
half in this one. Let's go.
Have a good trip.
Bring me back something French.
There's no way we'll make this plane.
It leaves in 45 minutes.
Think positive!
You be positive.
I'll be realistic.
Excuse me, your power is fixed...
...but the phones are a mess.
It'll take a couple of days to fix...
...especially around the holidays.
- Thanks.
Did you count heads?
Eleven, including me.
Five boys, six girls,
two drivers...
...and a partridge in a pear tree.
Hold the plane!
- Did we miss it?
- You just made it.
Single seats only in coach.
Take whatever's free.
I get a window seat!
- Kids are in coach, we're first class.
- Seats Four A and B.
Four A and B. I'll take your coats.
- Fasten your seat belts.
- Champagne, please.
- It's free, isn't it?
- Oh, yes.
We made it.
Do you believe it?
Hope we didn't forget anything.
Mom?
- That's real. It's real crystal.
- Yeah, so?
- Put them in your purse.
- Frank, I can't do that.
Just... Put them in your purse!
Yeah. Fill it up.
Fill it up.
Fill it up, please.
Thank you.
Don't you feel like a heel, flying
first class with the kids in coach?
No. The kids are fine.
The only time I ever flew as a kid was
in the station wagon, not to France.
We had to go to Aunt Laura
and Uncle Arthur's.
Kids are okay. They're having
the time of their lives.
Hello?
Mom?
Dad?
Where are you guys?
Buzz?
Megan?
Hello?
Rod?
Uncle Frank?
Uncle Frank, is this a joke?
Megan? Linnie?
Is this a joke?
It's only my imagination.
Only my imagination.
The cars are still here.
They didn't go to the airport!
I made my family disappear.
You're completely helpless.
You know, Kevin...
... you're what the French call
les incompetents.
Kevin, I'm going to feed you
to my tarantula.
Kevin, you are such a disease.
There are 15 people, and you're
the only one who has to make trouble.
Look what you did, you little jerk!
I made my family disappear.
I'm free!
Wow!
No clothes on