life stuffing
more unneeded restaurant supplies -
- on the shelves of more unneeded
restaurants than any other salesman.
I didn't finish college. I don't have
a million bucks. What am I going to do?
You've said you wanted to
open up your own restaurant.
- How? With what?
- You can go to a bank.
- Honey, it's complicated.
- It's not that complicated.
I'm making plenty of money
to tide us over.
I'm sorry. Just trying to help.
- Favio wants you back.
- Did he apologize?
- You want a fucking dozen roses?
- I should have decked him.
You're a lunatic.
In six more years,
you get profit sharing and Favio's job.
And I'm plugging Mrs Lyons and
chewing the ass of guys like you and me.
You didn't say that 3 months ago.
Come on, what is it?
- Does she want you out?
- What?
Is she pushing you to get out?
The permanent piece at home.
- Don't start on her.
- What the fuck is your problem?
You don't go here, you don't go there.
You have no job.
You're as much fun as a stick.
I'd cut him off, but it's your decision.
I just wish you'd come back.
I miss you, man.
I know you did what you could.
Thanks.
In here.
Are you going to play basketball?
- Could I show you this first ...
- Could you clean up some of this shit?
- Did you get a turkey for tomorrow?
- No, I got a ham.
You can't have ham for Thanksgiving,
you have to have a turkey.
You'll have turkey sandwiches
until Easter.
- I told Bernie we'd have turkey.
- You asked Bernie?
- He's my friend.
- Then I'll ask Joan.
- They'll be at each other's throats.
- Then don't invite her.
- I will, she's my friend.
- Suit yourself.
- Did I do something wrong?
- No.
I went back to work today
with my goddam tail between my legs.
I'll leave you alone.
I don't care what you did
or who you were with.
I would have appreciated a call
and maybe a little help today.
- I'm hung over, so shoot me.
- Don't tempt me.
Besides, they can't eat all this.
Don't work so hard for Bernie.
It's for Joan, too. Please put
the cranberry sauce in that dish.
All of these airs and graces
are for Joan.
It's for both.
At least Joan sits down while she eats.
She's a real lady, that one.
You want me to make Bernie feel at home?
I'll serve him some bread and Velveeta.
He's a better person than that bitch
on wheels. She's trying to sabotage us.
And he's full of comfort and support.
He hates me and I'm slaving for him.
- I did all the hard stuff.
- You did not!
- Danny, please, you did not!
- I did, too.
I mashed the potatoes, made the stuffing
and a salad. You cooked the turkey.
You son-of-a-bitch! I did all the
shopping, all the preparations.
Look at this goddam spread.
God, she looks great.
And she baked us a pie. That's terrific.
Your vulgarian friend is downstairs
denting innocent people's fenders.
Nice feed.
You got a terrific little homemaker.
- Guess who's been asking about you.
- Carmen? What did she say?
- You're practically a married man.
- Come on, what did she say?
Basically, she's got this desire
to GRAB YOUR JOINT!
Shut up! Touchdown!
It's official. I've become my mother.
- Did he help at all?
- Hardly. I hate this spoon.
Let me tell you about Gary.
He's tall. He's nice to me.
He's intelligent.
And he doesn't make me sleep
in the wet spot.
It's a trick. I bet he's a shit.
I think he is truly concerned
with my happiness.
Then he'll be a big help next year,
when we all come to your house.
He's asked me out for New Year's.
And did I mention that he is a lawyer?
I have to meet him in half an hour
so let's smoke this now.
I haven't been stoned in ages.
He doesn't like to smoke.
Do I seem different to you?
All I'm saying is that maid service
is not included in the package -
- and if you want to do this
little domestic show in the future -
- just be ready to handle the weight.
I should have, but I didn't.
I won't always follow your grand plan.
- I don't have any grand plan.
- Who invented sandwich