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want to buy your books...
They aren't "my" books, Mr. Kellogg.
They are essential reading, as are
the 12 other books you must own...
...and which will cost over $700.
I'm doing a paper, "And The Wheels Go
Slow: Form and Function in "42nd St."
That would be a very interesting idea.
Take a musical...
Call your family for more money.
My stepfather won't help me out.
This is out of Dickens.
Robbed by a street urchin.
A wicked stepfather.
I don't know what to say.
I'm trying to explain that I can't
get the books now.
I'm a faculty advisor,
not a caseworker.
I'm only interested
in your academic career.
And you're off to an extraordinarily
unimpressive start.
I'm sorry,
but being new to New York...
Excuse me. I have to leave now.
Hey! Excuse me.
Hey, wait up!
Stop him! Wait!
Watch it!
I want my money and my stuff. Now!
My money or I call the cops!
No English!
Knock it off! I know who you are!
Where's my stuff?
Upstairs. Give me a hand with this.
You crazy?
I victimized you in a moment of
weakness and now justice is done.
Give me a hand.
My money.
Do you have my money?
Watch your step. Floors are wet.
- Give me the money immediately...
- I'd love to do just that.
However...
...here we have an awkward moment.
Tragically...
...I have a gambling problem.
I placed a wager on a horse.
Predictably.
You lost my money on a horse?
All of it?
Now, I'm not sure it was a horse.
Oh, God. Oh, God.
I swear, it was a responsible bet.
It was a 4-to-1 shot. What can I say?
Took a beating.
But I still got most of your clothes.
I'm going to the police.
Police? You're a college student.
I'm a working man. No police.
No? Robbery is still a crime
in New York. It's not legal.
It depends on the circumstances.
Bullshit.
I'll get you a job.
An unbelievable opportunity.
- You're just the guy.
- I'm serious. In fact...
No, forget about it.
- What?
- No.
It's irresponsible of me.
So much money.
What is it?
I shouldn't offer you this job.
But I'm in an awkward position...
...between my feelings of guilt towards
you and my family obligations.
I don't know what you mean.
I'm offering you a job
that I promised to my sister's kid.
Perfect for a college student.
Flexible hours, big money.
My sister will kill me. She'll get a
gun and blow my brains out.
What kind of work? Stealing cars?
If you're going to be a cynic...
You expect me to trust you
after you steal everything I own?
Don't do anything you don't want to.
I'm giving you a choice is all.
If you want to make serious money...
...be at this address
tomorrow afternoon at 2:00.
"120 Hester Street.
Old World Social Club."
You'll work for my Uncle Carmine.
A great man.
He's the smart one in the family.
Look who's here! Don't be shy.
Come right in.
I wasn't sure this was it.
This is it.
Best neighbourhood in New York.
Uncle Carmine's waiting for you.
Here we go.
There at the desk. That's him.
- He's your uncle?
- Yeah. Do me a favour.
Don't say anything about my gambling.
I said, "How are you doing?"
"Very well," he says.
Hello.
This is my good friend Clark,
from Kansas.
Vermont.
"My heart is filled with much
happiness in meeting you," he says.
God Almighty.
You notice the resemblance, right?
He's the real thing. The original.
When they saw him,
they based the movie...
So is he a Mafia guy?
No, local businessman. Importer.
That's it.
- What a kisser.
- Unbelievable.
This is my uncle, Carmine Sabatini.
Uncle Carmine, this is Clark.
You never told me your last name.
- Kellogg.
- Just like the cereal.
Like the breakfast cereal.
Your resemblance to...
- Clark, have a seat.
- Pull up a chair.
- Would you like a nut?
- No, thank you.
None for me, Uncle Carmine.
Did you ever try Italian coffee?
No.
- Would you like to try a little taste?
- Yeah. Why not?
- Good.
- None for me, Uncle Carmine.
"Two espressos," he says.
That picture on the wall
wouldn't by any chance be Mussolini?

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