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- Who are you?
- The name is Hec. Hec Gomez.
Hey, them's real fine duds you got there.
You a Maytag repairman?
How did you find this place?
Well ah, this lady back in LA sent me.
Hey, you been to LA lately?
It's cleaned out, man, I'm telling you.
Hey, come here.
I want to show you something. Come on.
Hey, you know how the harbor freeway
is always bumper to bumper?
Well, you can go 150 miles an hour
if you want to.
Me and this baby,
we go through them freeways
like turkey crap through a tin horn.
You like girls?
Look in here.
- She's dead.
- She ain't dead.
See, this lady shot her up
with sodium pentothal
to make this fellow think
she was dead,
So you wouldn't suck her blood out,
you asshole.
Son of a bitch!
Excuse me, everyone.
I'm afraid our adolescent guest
has escaped.
She's quite hostile.
She may have already gone topside,
so please take a moment
and look around you.
Check those rooms,
and I'll check this one.
Let's go.
- Everything is under control.
- Good.
You said no shots.
This isn't a shot, sweetheart.
It'll just...
You'll just giggle
and then you'll feel a little sleepy.
That's right.
And when you wake up,
do you know where you'll be?
- Where?
- With Santa Claus at the North Pole.
In fact, you'll live with Santa Claus
for the rest of your life.
Hey, there's no such thing as Santa Claus.
What? You don't believe in Santa?
Life support systems.
- Wilson, come with me.
- Keep an eye on her.
Now, Wilson!
Forget the door. Turn off the alarm.
I don't know.
My parents told me
never to breathe anything from strangers.
Get your hands up.
What are you guys doing?
They said if we breathe this, we could go
to the North Pole and see Santa Claus.
- That's so sick.
- Hey!
- Holy shit!
- Whoa.
- Sam?
- I give! I give!
- They said you were dead.
- They were exaggerating totally.
- Hey, that's a great outfit.
- Thanks. Is that guy in the hallway dead?
You can give up if you want to, Wilson.
But we still have the two children
and that girl.
I forgot my football.
- We'll get you another football.
- We'll get you a stadium.
Get everybody topside, now!
- What about them?
- Screw them.
Okay, kids. Going up.
Put your hands down, kids.
God, don't be so stupid.
- Come on, kids.
- Who are the kids?
- I'm Brian.
- I'm Sarah.
Yeah, and I'm Aunt Reg
and that's Aunt Sam
and that's Uncle Hector.
- Can I have my bunny?
- In a minute.
- Beat feet, Uncle Hector.
- Uncle Hector?
Hey, it's my bunny, you know.
- Where have you been?
- Can we change this?
- Arranging a hotfoot for your friends.
- I really hate this music.
Give me a break!
- What are you doing?
- I'm not kidding.
I get carsick without my bunny.
- Come on, Reg. Give the kid the bunny.
- We've stopped. Why have we stopped?
Son of a...
Don't shoot them, you idiot.
Okay, kids.
Cover your eyes for Uncle Hector.
Hey! Think tank, huh?
Look, couldn't we just, like, leave?
Think over this.
- We can get them. We have to get them.
- Hey, we'll be taking off now.
Look us up at Chasen's.
We'll party down, huh?
- Come on.
- Come on. This is fun.
The kids would like to say goodbye.
It's been fun.
Hope to see you around real soon.
Is that gasoline I smell?
Wait. Wait, don't! Don't!
Wow. All right, Hector.
Let go of her!
It's okay.
I got you. It's all right. It's okay.
I got you. Shhhhhh.
Okay, kids. Smile. Come on.
God, you're so cute.
You're just so cute. Wait.
Mr. Bunny needs to be in this picture, too.
So, okay, that's great.
- Can I take this jacket off? It itches.
- No, you can't.
I just want to take another picture.
all right?
- Please?
- No. Now you just hold on to that.
- Stay there, okay? Perfect.
- Oh, brother.
- There's still a few zombies around.
- Don't slouch. And, Sarah, hold that.
Did the flash go off?
You can't tell on these things.
Hey, if

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