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but like this...
...surrounded by Hush Puppies.
-Lisa Jordan had two already.
-I heard Marilyn Monroe had 13.
-Who's Lisa Jordan?
-She sits behind you in calculus.
-Still, it's no big deal.
-Look, this is Darcy's decision.
-It's her life.
-Oh, her life.
-It's her body.
-Stan and I are going to California!
What's he do with his body,
stay home and babysit?
-We can give it up for abortion.
-That's what I said.
-That's what he said.
-No, he said, abortion.
-No, I said, adoption.
-I heard you, Stan. Loud and clear.
Well, you heard me wrong, okay?
-You went out with Stan Bobrucz?
-You're lying.
-I am not. We were in seventh grade.
-We were children.
-Yeah, weren't we all?
Since then, he's gotten so mature.
So deep.
-Michaela, you're so bad.
-You want to know bad?
Tying a guy down before he's old
enough to buy a drink.
You won't read about Darcy getting
knocked up in her precious paper.
So I'll just write it on the wall.
I love it when the smart kids
turn out to be so stupid.
I'm almost into my second trimester.
We have to tell them.
-It's not gonna go away.
-Don't worry. We'll figure it out.
It doesn't make sense to tell them
until we decide what to do.
Besides, it's Thanksgiving.
How can you tell them now?
I was thinking, "I'm pregnant.
Can you pass the turnips?"
-Look, we'll talk about it--
-Come on, kids. Dinner.
It's a beautiful turkey, Mrs. Bobrucz.
-Hey, stick.
Know what your cousin
says about Caltech?
-What'd he say?
-Every student has his own computer.
Believe that? It wasn't like that
when I didn't go to school.
I hope you like my stuffing.
The French do a wonderful thing
with stuffing.
Apples, grapes and raisins.
Right, honey?
How creative.
In this country, we don't call
that stuffing. We call it fruit.
-Honey? Grace.
-Anybody can do it.
-Only a doctor can do it.
No talking during grace, huh?
I'm telling Mary that only
a doctor can do an abortion--
That's not true! Right, Daddy?
Where'd you hear a word like that?
-Mary said it.
-Lou said it.
You know the rules in this house.
No lying.
Where'd you hear that?
Well, all right!
I'm gonna ask you one more time!
Where did you hear that word?
I'm pregnant.
Can you pass the turnips?
Abortion is not a dirty word.
It's a medical solution.
Abortion is not a dirty word.
It's a medical solution.
You can forget about abortion!
This kid's going up for adoption!
-That's that!
-You've never heard of choice.
Why would you?
It's not a four-letter word.
What the hell does that mean?
Look, I know you think you're in love.
I thought I was in love once too.
When's the last time we saw
your father or a check?
Honey, promise me
you won't have this baby!
-The whole world is your oyster!
-What about my son's oysters?
He has a career ahead of him,
designing schools, churches and shit!
We're going to Paris next summer.
-If we could just discuss--
-Butt out! We're deciding your future!
Honey, do you know how many people
would love to adopt a baby?
Don't be stupid!
That takes care of Stan.
Hey, call your daughter stupid!
She got herself in trouble!
-Oh, she got herself pregnant?!
-Hallelujah! It's another virgin birth!
-Let's not drag the church into this.
Why not? Your husband wants
to hide my daughter in a convent...
...so she won't embarrass your family.
Gonna do this every time Stan
gets a girl pregnant?
-Let's keep it.
-Grow up! You had a gerbil.
You forgot to feed it. It died.
This kid's going up for adoption!
Darcy won't lug this baby
and get stretch marks...
-...so you can give it to charity.
-Mom, what are stretch marks?
Stretch marks are the badge
of a real woman.
You are an unreasonable,
uncivilized peasant!
You can take your French fruit
and stuff it up your big bird!
Okay, that's it. This family
has made its decision.
We'll call Dr. Barrick and have this
taken care of. There. Done. Darcy?
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