you really think so?
I'd be most grateful.
Do you know soccer?
Do I know anything
about soccer?
Why, I was captain
of the Totnum Hotspurs for two years,
three seasons
with Manchester United.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. You'll do.
- Before that, I...
Come this way, please.
Mr. Browne, are you certain
you'll be all right?
Now what?
Not an ideal person
in many respects,
but Mr. Browne
is a very brave man.
Do you think he's done for?
Do ya think so?
Ar, can't tell you
how I appreciate this.
For some reason,
we have great difficulty...
finding referees 'round here.
If there be one thing we like,
it's volunteers.
Eh, birdy?
Har! Har! Har!
He's a proper king.
Look at his crown.
What's he got 'round his neck?
What a magnificent...
ornament, Sire.
Ar, yes. Well.
Wouldn't be without it.
Been in the family for years.
The Star of Astoroth.
You're to sit
in His Majesty's royal box.
No littering, no chewing, no fruit
or wrappers from boiled sweets, please.
Rise, please.
Loyal fans,
this is official!
We have a volunteer referee!
Let the match begin!
He's still wearing it.
Right. Dirty Yellows,
let's have a nice, clean game.
Right. True Blues,
best foot forward.
Weird sort of game they play here.
Hurry up!
Get rid of it!
Gracious!
You're doin' fine, matey.
Move it around. Move it around.
Get on with the match!
Ya-hoo-hoo-hoo!
- Foul! Foul!
- They're only animals.
That's no excuse
for dirty football.
Ohh!
Ref, are you blind?
Be quiet, Charles.
Don't forget who the referee is.
Ooh!
Don't they have no rules?
'Course they do. The king
makes them up as he goes along.
Poor Mr. Browne.
Do you think he's all right?
Well, he's moving.
Steady, matey.
Move it around.
Tsk! Oh, he almost
had it then.
Looks like he's done for this time.
Don't just stand there!
Hit it in!
Stop... that... ball!
Goal!
Ha-ha!
Game's over.
I win!
Ah, let me give you
a hand, matey.
That's quite all right, Your Majesty.
Thank you so much.
Oh, please, let me help you on
with your robe.
Why, yes. Thank you.
Thank you. Yes.
Can't have you catching cold,
Sire, can we?
Why, no, no.
Have you ever heard of something
called the "gypsy switch"?
No. Can't say that I have.
Remind me to tell you
about it sometime.
I can't tell you
when we've had such a good time.
We'll carry the memory of Your Majesty
in our hearts for a long while.
I think it's time to leave.
Aye. Must you go?
We must be dashing. Marvelous game.
Lovely to see you. Good-bye.
- Good-bye. Come along, children.
- Good-bye.
Good-bye.
Friendly lot.
Hee-hee-hee.
Don't mind them visitin'.
Wouldn't want 'em livin' here.
- Come along, children.
- Come on, children. Hurry up.
Oh!
Stop gibberin'!
What's the matter with you?
Your royal star!
They've stolen
your royal star!
Har, har, har, har!
Don't be ridiculous.
What do you think this is?
Why... didn't you...
say... so?
All right, Paul,
put the knob on the bed.
At last, the magic words:
"Treguna, Mekoides,
Trecorum Satis Dee".
I'll keep it.
Women always lose things.
- Hurry, Paul. The knob.
- It's stuck.
- I suppose I better do something.
- Please, do. Quick.
Got it.
Filigree, Apogee, Pedigree-
Oh, bother!
I do hate shoddy work.
I don't suppose I shall ever
get used to this thing.
Children, will you push
the bed back into place, please?
I think we could all do
with a nice cup of tea.
Oh, no time for that. I've gone to
a lot of trouble to find this spell.
I'm going to try it immediately.
Mr. Browne, kindly let me
have your shoes, please.
My shoes?
Oh, fine.
- What's the shoes for?
- Really, Charles,
if you'd been paying attention,
I should think you'd be aware
that substitutiary locomotion...
is the art of causing inanimate objects
to take on a life force of their own.
Obviously, I must have
inanimate objects to experiment with.
Makes sense, don't it?
Stand back, everyone.
I need plenty of room.
I want you all to be