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day.
- Would you like one to match his?
- You wanna go right now?
- Dad, no one's denting anybody.
- Thanks, Bucky.
- Bite the big one, Uncle Roman.
- Don't talk to adults that way.
- Why not?
- Because it's rude.
- Oh, blow it out your ass.
- Let's go. Come on, girls.
- Good idea.
It's the first good idea you've had
since you've been here.
And don't steal any of our stuff.
- Ha! What stuff is there to steal?
- We got stuff!
- You're a louse.
- Well, go find yourself a spin cycle.
Yeah, go find yourself a spin cycle.
- What does that mean?
- Never mind.
- Dad?
- Yes, Ben.
Does this mean we won't get
a present from Uncle Roman?
Blow it out your ass.
Nobody's blowing anything
out their ass.
It's just a little problem, it doesn't mean
we don't love your uncle and aunt,
it just means
we are having some emotions.
What it means is that I'd like
to blow Uncle Roman out my ass.
I don't want any more about
anyone blowing anything out their ass.
You might as well
blow the whole family out your ass, Dad.
Do you understand what's going on?
You understand what we're saying?
Aunt Kate and Uncle Roman
are buttheads.
Exactly.
All right, troops, mount up.
We're ready to roll.
- You all packed?
- Actually, I was thinking things over.
And I'm gonna tell you something
I had previously decided not to.
I came up here for a reason.
I came here to talk to you
about an investment.
In fact, I came up to solicit
$25,000 from you.
I knew it, I knew it, I knew it.
Look, a unique investment opportunity
came my way
and I'm thinking of people
that I'm gonna bless with this chance
cos this is so good it should be illegal.
- And it probably is.
- It's not.
It's inside but it's not illegal.
The upside is phenomenal,
the downside is zip.
I'm thinking about who I could involve
in this and your name came up.
Why? Because you are family.
If a guy can't help his family,
what good is he?
I came up here to offer you a chance
to make some big money.
It's funny you didn't mention this before.
- You didn't want to talk about money.
- Baloney!
I was picking my moment.
You were picking your nose.
There's no mystery here, Chet.
- I know how you really feel about me.
- Do you?
Yep.
I knew if I gave you something,
you'd figure there'd be strings.
- Is that a fact?
- Yeah, that's a fact.
At our wedding...
you were in the john, with Kate
and Connie's dad, you were talking.
Do you happen to remember
the substance of that conversation?
- No, I don't.
- Well, I do.
It's one I'll never forget
because I heard you say, and I quote,
"That Roman Craig
is a crooked son of a bitch."
The next time you stab somebody in
the back, check under the stalls for feet.
You may think I'm made out of armor
but I'm just like any other human being
and when I get cut it hurts
and that cut me.
And I hurt.
Roman, I'm...
I'm sorry, I...
I had a lot to drink that night and, er...
I really don't remember saying that
but if you said I did...
then...
I must have.
I apologize to you both.
It was a terrible thing to say.
I don't hold grudges
and I don't have any hard feelings.
To show you I can forgive and forget,
I'd still like to offer you
a piece of that investment.
Sweetie.
I don't know what to say, Roman, I...
I feel like a real idiot.
- What is this thing?
- 25,000. What's your cash position?
It isn't 25,000,
that's an awful lot of money.
Can you get it?
No!
I, er... I think I can make an arrangement
or two at the bank on Monday.
Look, whatever you want to do.
You can write a cheque now
and I'll make up the difference.
If that's OK?
Is your chequebook in the purse?
- Yeah.
- Great. Then that's fine.
- Bye.
- Goodbye.
I think it's a real testament
to the strength of the family
that we can disagree so vehemently
and get on each other's nerves so badly
over the past week
and still part on good terms.
Absolutely.
After all the disagreements you two had,
you still
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