steal any of our stuff.
Ha-ha!
What stuff is there to steal?
- We've got stuff!
- You're a louse!
Oh! Well, go find yourself
a spin cycle.
Yeah, go find yourself
a spin cycle.
- What the hell is that supposed to mean?
- Never mind.
- Calm down, calm down.
- Okay.
- Dad?
- Yes, Ben?
Does this mean we won't get
a Christmas present from Uncle Roman?
Blow it out your ass, Ben!
Okay, okay. Nobody's blowin'
anything out their ass.
Okay? What we're having here
is a little problem.
And your father and l... it does not mean
we don't love Uncle Roman and Aunt Kate.
It just means that
we are having some emotions.
What it means is I would like
to blow Uncle Roman out my ass!
I don't want to hear any more about
anyone blowing anything out their ass.
You might as well blow the whole
family out your ass while you're at it.
Ben, do you understand
what's going on here?
Do you understand what your mother
and I are trying to say?
- Aunt Kate and Uncle Roman are butt heads. Right?
- Exactly.
All right, troops,
mount up.
We're ready to roll.
You all packed?
Actually, I just took a moment
to think things over.
I'm gonna tell you something
I had previously decided not to.
I came up here for a reason.
Chet, I came up here to talk
to you about an investment.
I'll be quite honest.
I came up to solicit...
- $25,000 from you.
- I knew it! I knew it!
- I knew it!
- Hey, look.
A unique investment opportunity came
my way. I'm sitting in the office...
trying to figure out a list of people to
bless with this opportunity, and I say bless...
because this is so good and so sure,
it should be illegal.
- And it probably is.
- It's not.
It's inside,
but it's not illegal.
The upside is phenomenal,
the downside is zip.
As I was thinkin' about people I might want
to involve in this venture, your name came up.
Why? Because you are blood.
You're family.
If a guy can't help his family,
what the hell good is he?
The fact is, I came up here to offer you
a chance to make some really big money.
It's funny you didn't mention
this before.
- You didn't want to talk about money!
- Oh, baloney!
- I was picking my moment.
- You were picking your nose.
There's no mystery here, Chet.
I know how you really feel about me.
- Do you?
- Yep.
I knew that if I was ever to give you something,
you'd figure there'd be strings attached.
- Is that a fact?
- Yeah, that's a fact.
At our wedding...
you were in the john
with Kate and Connie's dad.
You were talking.
Do you happen to remember
the substance of that conversation?
No, I don't.
Yeah, well I do.
It's one I'll never forget.
Because I heard you say,
and I quote,
"That Roman Craig
is a crooked son of a bitch."
The next time you stab
somebody in the back, Chester,
you better check
under the stalls for feet.
You may think I'm made
out of armor and nails,
but I'm just like
any other human being.
And when I get cut, it hurts.
And that cut me.
And I hurt.
Roman, I'm...
I'm sorry.
l...
I had a lot to drink
that night.
And I really don't remember saying that.
But if you said I did,
then...
I must have.
I apologize to you both.
It was a terrible thing to say.
Look, I don't hold grudges and
I don't have any hard feelings.
To show you I'm the kind of guy
that can forgive and forget,
well, I'd still like to offer you
a piece of that investment.
You're sweet.
I don't know what to say, Roman.
I, l...
I feel like a real idiot.
What exactly is
this thing again?
That's $25,000.
What's your cash position?
It isn't $25,000.
That's a lot of money.
- Can you get it?
- No.
I, uh... I think I can make
an arrangement or two...
at the bank on Monday,
if that's okay.
Look,
whatever you want to do.
If you want, you can write a check now
for as much as you can cover.
I'll make up the difference,
and we'll square it away on Monday.
If that's okay with...
- Is your checkbook in your purse?
- Yeah.
Great. Okay.
Then