mister.
Get this thing off me.
I'm a cop.
I think I hit him.
You didn't hit shit.
Where is
the whipping cream?
We're out.
Oh, my God.
OK, I want you to do
something for me.
Go get me some
cotton balls...aah!
Some peroxide...
some bandages...
and bring me
a small mirror.
Oh, God. Oh, God.
Oh, fuck me.
I want you to go
and get me...
your smallest needle...
a small needle...
and thread it
with black thread, OK?
Here. I got it.
Oh, fuck. Oh, God.
OK. Now...
I tell you what.
I want you to sew
my eyebrow back on.
Hey, hey!
Now, come on, come on.
Come on.
You're gonna be OK.
I got it.
I'm sorry.
I'm no good at this.
I got it.
What? OK.
I got you.
I'm going to
get you a doctor.
Oh, no. No doctors.
I want you to get me
a bottle of gin.
I nursed my husband for
3 years before he died...
but you're not
going to die.
Here.
It's gin, Junior.
Drink it.
We're going to need this.
This is going to hurt.
You move, and you're
a blind man. Scissors.
Hold it. Hold it.
You're doing real good,
Junior.
I'm just gonna
move down a bit.
Now we just have one more.
Just hold on.
That'll hold you.
Your husband must have
been glad to die.
Thank you.
Yeah, thanks.
You got a real nice
touch there, lady.
So...are you going to
tell me about it?
Yeah, I'll tell you
about it.
This straight life
that we've been living...
has been giving me this
misplaced sense of security!
I thought for
one minute there...
I was some kind of fuckin'
solid citizen or something.
All I want to know
is what happened to you.
Some guy in a blue
Toyota pickup ran me over.
I thought it must have been
something like that.
An anonymous, apparently
off-duty, police officer...
interrupted
a robbery tonight...
at a Coral Gables
convenience store...
heroically confronting
an armed robber...
with only bottles
of spaghetti sauce.
Yeah?
Ellita Sanchez.
Come in.
What's this?
Susan Waggoner.
Telephone order.
There's an address
in the Gables.
The Gables.
What time is it?
It's 1:00. I was
going out on a date.
I've got a relative
with Southern Bell...
or we wouldn't have gotten
the number for days.
That's great. Thanks.
What are you
going to do?
I'm going to
check it out.
Sanchez...
thanks.
You feeling better?
What would you like
for breakfast?
You're not hungry?
Well, I'm just
gonna run some errands...
and then I'll be back.
I love you.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Hey. Susan, uh...
Waggoner, right?
Remember me?
No, sir.
Hoke "Pork Chops" Moseley.
God, what
happened to you?
Ah, some psycho
jumped me...
almost broke my neck...
stole my gun, my badge,
and my teeth.
Teeth?
Yeah. These are temps.
Hey, I got
something for you.
Do you do your
marketing here?
Excuse me, would you
like to try some sausage?
No, thank you.
Are you sure?
It's really good.
Remember that...
pork chop recipe
I promised you...
with the chestnut batter?
Glad I ran into you.
Oh, this is great.
I can't believe
you remembered.
That is so nice of you.
I'm gonna
put it on my list...
and I'm gonna
make it tonight.
Hey, is that
an invitation?
I'll be there.
Oh.
I got class tonight.
I'm sorry.
You're still
with that guy, huh?
No. Umm...
I kicked him out.
Well, good for you.
You know
who he really is?
He's a murderer.
Herman Gotlieb
isn't even his real name.
He spent his life in prison.
Frederick J. Frenger,
Junior.
Junior.
Hate to run into Senior.
Oh...
hey, you ever made
vinegar pie?
Vinegar pie?
My mother used to make it.
I can still taste it.
Oh. Seedless raisins
for a start.
Chop 'em up real fine.
And you beat the egg
yolks and the butter...
until they're creamy...
Wait a second.
And you beat
the egg whites...
until they're stiff...
and then you
fold them in...
and you take
one cup of sugar...
and, um...
here's
the tricky part, OK?
This is the key.
You use 5% vinegar,
no stronger.
And just 3 teaspoons,
that's all.
Just 3 little teaspoons.
That's