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while your fan base
is limited to angry fat guys in basements.
Yeah, but... Come on, fellas,
I'm thrice the entertainer the rabbit is!
Fine, it's hilarious...
but moviegoers these days
demand action heroes, like me!
Top that, rabbit.
So, it has come to this, has it?
I'm afraid
the Brothers Warner must choose...
between a handsome matinee idol...
or this miscreant perpetrator
of low burlesque.
Whichever one's not the duck.
That's the stuff from my office.
- You don't have an office.
- Not anymore.
Symbolically, this is bad.
Please, brother. Other brother?
Icy she-wolf? Help me, please.
I'm too moist and tender to retire.
- Let me escort you out.
- Wait!
I haven't tried toadying, kowtowing,
or butt-kissing yet.
I'm still begging here!
Can I try that again?
No, thank you. We'll call you.
Hey, D.J. How did your tryout go?
Well, let's see.
I can say I made an impression.
Your father can get you a job
anytime he wants to.
I know, but I don't want that.
I'd really rather earn it, sir.
- Mr. Warner mentioned you this morning.
- He did? What did he say?
He said don't forget the TurtleWax.
What about animation?
I could do cartoons.
Dead duck walking.
- Morning, Mr. Bunny.
- Very hot now.
And I do voices. Listen.
- Excuse me.
- "Fetch the stick, boy."
"What a maroon."
"You can't handle the truth."
Some grip, lady.
I need you to eject this duck.
- Lady, this is Daffy Duck.
- Exactly.
- Not anymore. We own the name.
- Yeah?
You can't stop me from calling myself...
- What do you know?
- You fired Daffy Duck?
No, I didn't. I did. They did.
You just were following orders.
You know what? You don't know me.
You're Kate Houghton,
you're the VP of Comedy. Go figure.
You drive a red 1988 Alfa Romeo.
Good engine. Little under-driven.
I know this
because you nearly ran me over last week.
Anyway, about that duck,
you want me to get rid of him still?
- Duck, yes. Eject the duck, please.
- I can't do that.
- Why not?
- He's gone.
What are you waiting for, backup?
Shabby job so far, constable.
Quick! After me!
Now you're gonna pay for that one.
Come here!
- Dress Inspector!
- Look out!
One side, Spartacuses.
- Come on.
- Daffy, stop!
Cut him off at the pass, boys.
All units in pursuit of little black duck.
Well, that's just cheating.
Don't follow me.
That's not right. Cut!
That's lunch, everybody!
- That airbag cost a lot of money.
- I'm okay.
Good morning. Batman, you good?
All right.
My chariot awaits.
Bat-lights. Bat-conditioning. Bat-stereo.
To the Duck Cave.
Now what are you doing?
Stay away from that Batmobile!
- I'm allowed to steal. I'm a celebrity.
- Tell it to the judge!
- Feeling pretty good about yourself?
- I am.
- You bested that dastardly duck?
- I did.
You're gonna offer your catch
to the pretty executive?
Miss Houghton!
Get out of the way!
Look out!
What do you know? I found Nemo.
I think she likes you.
Your father would be so ashamed of you.
But I was... It was...
At first, they told me to lose the stutter.
Now they tell me I'm not funny.
It's a pain in the butt
being politically correct.
You're telling me.
What kind of performance
do you call that?
You made me sound
like a total space cadet, man.
I'm sorry you feel that way.
I was trying to be real to your character.
If you, like, goof on me in the sequel,
I'm coming after you.
And I'll give you a Scooby Snack!
There are some areas of the script
I think we need to address.
There's no heart, no cooperation,
nobody learns anything.
Daffy learns not to stick his head
in a jet engine.
- He's gone.
- No, Daffy always comes back.
I just tell him how much I need him.
We hug, we cry,
I drop something heavy on him, I laugh.
The duck is history, okay?
So the question is...
how can I help you
reposition your brand identity?
Answer: We team you up
with a hot female co-star.
I play the female love
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