Stephenson.
- Nice to see you again. Have a drink?
- Thank you.
l've played golf with your father.
- Been to the club since you got back?
- l haven't had a chance.
- Al, we'll be late.
- Right.
- Good night.
- Night.
- Have a good time, children.
- Thank you.
Give my best to Fred.
Al, come on!
Yes, Mr Milton!
- Hello, Peggy.
- Oh, Woody, don't be a bore.
We'll be late.
Our country must stand today
where it has always stood,
the citadel of individual initiative,
the land of unlimited opportunity for all.
lt is peculiarly appropriate
that we meet here tonight to honour one
who has valiantly fought for that freedom.
Ladies and gentlemen, we greet
our friend, our co-worker, our hero,
Al Stephenson.
Come on, on your feet, Al.
On your feet.
Ladies and gentlemen,
l'm very happy to be here.
ln fact, l'm very happy to be anywhere.
ln fact, l'm very happy!
Perhaps it'd be a good idea if you just
put that bottle down right here.
- Save yourself quite a number of trips.
- Good old Al! (polite laugh)
l'm glad to see
you've all pulled through so well.
As Mr Milton so perfectly expressed it,
our country stands today...
where it stands today. Wherever that is.
l'm sure you'd all agree with me if l said
that now's the time to stop this nonsense,
face facts, get down to brass tacks,
forget about the war, and go fishing.
But l'm not gonna say it.
l'm just going to sum the
whole thing up in one word.
My wife doesn't think l'd better
sum it up in that one word.
The reason for my success as a sergeant
is due primarily to my previous training
in the Cornbelt Loan and Trust Company.
The knowledge l acquired
in the good old bank
l applied to my problems in the infantry.
For instance, one day in Okinawa,
a major says ''You see that hill?''
l said ''Yes, sir. l see it.''
''All right,'' he said.
''You and your platoon will attack
said hill and take it.''
So l said ''But that operation
involves considerable risk.''
''We haven't sufficient collateral.''
''l'm aware of that'', said the major, ''but
you are the guys who are going to take it.''
So l said to him ''l'm sorry, Major.
No collateral, no hill.''
So we didn't take the hill,
and we lost the war.
Uh, l think that little story
has considerable significance.
But l've... l've forgotten what it is.
Uh...
And now, in conclusion,
l'd like to tell you a humorous anecdote.
l know several humorous anecdotes, but
l can't think of any way to clean 'em up!
- (ripple of laughter)
- So l'll only say this much.
l love the Cornbelt
Loan and Trust Company.
Some say that the bank is suffering from
hardening of the arteries and of the heart.
l refuse to listen to such radical talk.
l say that our bank is alive,
it's generous, it's... it's human!
And we're going to have
such a line of customers
seeking and getting small loans
that people will think we're gambling
with the depositors' money.
And we will be!
We'll be gambling on
the future of this country.
l thank you.
Woody, l can't take it any more.
Let's sit down.
We can't get out. l'm trapped.
How do you do? Ow!
Beg your pardon!
Well, anyway, we can't fall down.
- ls that table satisfactory?
- Everything's lovely.
Thank you very much.
Would you care to order now?
Sorry.
- l can't understand it.
- What?
Why you're not mad about me.
l think l'm attractive.
You are, Woody. You're irresistible.
Then why do you go on resisting me?
All marriages don't have
to be like that one.
- Which one?
- Your friends, Fred and Marie.
- What's wrong with their marriage?
- Nothing, except one slight detail.
They just don't like each other.
lt's murder on the dance floor. lt's awful!
- You don't wanna dance any more?
- Love to! You don't mind if l borrow him?
No, not at all.
- Why did you do this, Peggy?
- Do what? What do you mean?
Calling up Marie
and going out like this. Together.
- l did it deliberately.
- Why?
To prove to myself that what happened
this