For instance, one day in Okinawa,
a major says ''You see that hill?''
l said ''Yes, sir. l see it.''
''All right,'' he said.
''You and your platoon will attack
said hill and take it.''
So l said ''But that operation
involves considerable risk.''
''We haven't sufficient collateral.''
''l'm aware of that'', said the major, ''but
you are the guys who are going to take it.''
So l said to him ''l'm sorry, Major.
No collateral, no hill.''
So we didn't take the hill,
and we lost the war.
Uh, l think that little story
has considerable significance.
But l've... l've forgotten what it is.
Uh...
And now, in conclusion,
l'd like to tell you a humorous anecdote.
l know several humorous anecdotes, but
l can't think of any way to clean 'em up!
- (ripple of laughter)
- So l'll only say this much.
l love the Cornbelt
Loan and Trust Company.
Some say that the bank is suffering from
hardening of the arteries and of the heart.
l refuse to listen to such radical talk.
l say that our bank is alive,
it's generous, it's... it's human!
And we're going to have
such a line of customers
seeking and getting small loans
that people will think we're gambling
with the depositors' money.
And we will be!
We'll be gambling on
the future of this country.
l thank you.
Woody, l can't take it any more.
Let's sit down.
We can't get out. l'm trapped.
How do you do? Ow!
Beg your pardon!
Well, anyway, we can't fall down.
- ls that table satisfactory?
- Everything's lovely.
Thank you very much.
Would you care to order now?
Sorry.
- l can't understand it.
- What?
Why you're not mad about me.
l think l'm attractive.
You are, Woody. You're irresistible.
Then why do you go on resisting me?
All marriages don't have
to be like that one.
- Which one?
- Your friends, Fred and Marie.
- What's wrong with their marriage?
- Nothing, except one slight detail.
They just don't like each other.
lt's murder on the dance floor. lt's awful!
- You don't wanna dance any more?
- Love to! You don't mind if l borrow him?
No, not at all.
- Why did you do this, Peggy?
- Do what? What do you mean?
Calling up Marie
and going out like this. Together.
- l did it deliberately.
- Why?
To prove to myself that what happened
this afternoon didn't really happen.
But it did happen.
lt had to happen.
And if we go on seeing each other, Peggy,
it'll happen again.
Be-bop a-ree-bop
Be-bop...
Excuse us.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
We want to have a picture taken
in a few minutes.
Fine. l'll be here.
Excuse me.
- Hello, Marie.
- Good evening.
- You got to watch yourself. More wolves!
- l know.
l'd pay no attention to the sign.
Go right in!
- Gee, Woody's a cute boy.
- He's a lot of fun.
He's got dough, too.
His family own half the city.
He has a terrific yen for you.
l don't want to butt into your affairs, but
if you take my advice, you'll grab Woody!
Woody and l are good friends,
but there's no romance.
Never mind the romantic part. That takes
care of itself. l speak from experience.
They'll tell you money isn't everything.
Maybe it isn't but, boy, how it helps!
While Fred was away
l was drawing over $500 a month.
l mean, from his army pay
and the job l had.
Now the two of us gotta live on what Fred
gets from the drugstore. 32.50 a week!
Poor Fred. Bet you think he's a sourpuss.
He didn't used to be that way, though.
Army's had an awful effect on him.
Knocked all the life out of him!
Fred isn't going to be satisfied
with that job at the drugstore.
- He'll get something better.
- Maybe in five years he'll draw 50 bucks.
You can't have happy marriages
on that kind of dough.
You know, Peggy, you're cute.
But you could use a little more make-up.
And get yourself a better hairdo.
l'll give you the name of my hairdresser.
Oh, but you've got nothing to worry about.
You'll get Woody and live
happily ever after. lt's in the bag!
Thank you.
Now, everybody get in close together,
put our arms around