spoil it...
Come on and laugh a little,
for damn sake!
Dad and I got the keg of beer...
which I still can't believe,
but damned if we didn't.
When the party gets started,
we'll go on to bed.
You'll have the house.
What if I told you
some people don't drink beer?
They drink other stuff.
What people?
Your high school friends?
They drink scotch and tequila
and stuff like that.
You drink scotch, Madge?
No, but I could if I wanted.
I could drink it for breakfast.
You drink scotch, Jeanie?
No. I don't like scotch.
They're bringing scotch tonight?
Maybe. I don't tell them
what to bring.
I'm not their mother.
Well, well.
Coing to be some party.
Maybe Dad and I should
go out of town tonight.
That way everybody
wouldn't have a mother around.
You'll make it impossible!
Everybody could get
real drunk on scotch...
and have a free time.
A real sexual time, maybe.
- Did you call me?
- No!
Co to the kitchen, Sissie.
- I want to hear!
- Go!
It's so unreal. Why do
they always talk about sex?
It's not me, it's you.
Your friends,
they're all talking about it.
They're having affairs
in junior high school.
You don't think that
we can have any serious emotion?
That any of us can experience
something really deep?
Jeanie's been in love
since she was twelve.
I bet you don't even believe it.
I don't want you to think
I was born on another planet.
When Dad and I
were going together...
we experimented.
More than once.
I can't lie to you.
Mom, you don't
have to get into this.
But I always wished
that we hadn't, that we waited.
You don't understand.
I have. I've waited.
What do you mean?
- I'm a virgin.
- What's wrong with that?
- I hate it.
- Thank Cod!
Sissie,
bring your mother a beer!
Come on, Mom.
What are we gonna do with her?
We're not gonna have a party.
We sure as shootin' are!
Madge says we're not.
If you don't come out
and say hi to your friends...
I'm sending them away.
If I send them all away...
you'll have to call everyone
and apologize.
And until you do...
You are making me furious!
Until you make
an apology on the phone...
to every one of your friends
who comes by here tonight...
you are grounded!
You can bank on it!
I think Angel's real cute,
you know?
That punk movement...
they're a bunch of retards...
with safety pins
in their faces.
Cotta go home.
The party's off.
Where's Madge?
- She's grounded.
- How come?
She's a virgin.
Hi.
- How was the concert?
- Fine.
I saw Dad.
How is he?
Fine.
What's wrong, Mom?
I just read
this friggin' page five times.
How come you're not asleep?
Because I have
a test tomorrow...
and I study for my tests.
Your dad thinks
that if I get a degree...
that I'll be smart enough
to leave him alone.
Did you do your homework?
I don't have any.
It's the weekend.
I got this crazy idea
that you'll go to college...
read a lot of books,
and become this brainy person.
You'll know how to talk
to neurotics like your mother.
How's your friend?
Sam?
He seems nice.
He's with his wife.
Ex-wife. He's divorced.
Hey, that's cool.
He's taking me to lunch
tomorrow.
Did he take you to dinner
last night?
- What does that mean?
- Nothing. Forget it.
I'm a 40-year-old woman...
and I'm sitting here
reading Plato again.
It's insane!
No, he didn't take me
to dinner last night.
And he didn't take me
to dinner tonight...
because his ex-wife called,
and he wasn't free to go.
So he apologized.
What for?
Sure, I should have had
dinner with him first...
and found out if his intentions
were honorable or not.
I was too busy
throwing myself at some guy...
like all the other divorced,
desperate UCLA undergraduates.
But I did it
because it felt good...
because I wanted to, OK?
OK.
Oh, shit. I'm sorry.
I can't focus again.
You gotta get
your prescription checked.
I know. I keep meaning to.
Right there.
I would've loved Plato.
He and his friends...
none of them
liked to wear shoes.
"