Just a few minutes
past 7:00 in the morning.
Hi, I'm Jeff Conzer.
And it's time to wake up.
I know you feel
that it's completely...
Wrong.
No, but you're ready
to wake up, aren't you?
- Yes, definitely.
- Good.
It's going to be
a beautiful day today.
Temperatures in
the mid 70s in the city...
a little cooler
at the beaches...
and warmer in the valleys.
As always.
You gotta wake up.
No arguing.
It's time to stick your finger
in your third eye...
and at least wake yourself up.
You even have
to get your dog awake.
It's just time to wake up.
Everybody, get up!
Wake up!
Hey, shake your bootie.
Jeanie, don't stay in there.
I'm not even in there yet.
Oh, Christ.
We got to wake up Annie.
Annie.
Annie, wake up.
- Is Annie awake?
- Not yet.
I didn't hear her come in.
I was totally vegged.
She was sick
all over some guy's car.
Yeah? From what?
Quaaludes, beer, wine,
some real heavy pills.
Poor thing.
Teenage dopers, what a waste.
Don't do that.
The Three Stooges
always throw it.
She can't do that.
She'll drown.
I'm only saying that's what
the Three Stooges always do.
I'm not saying
she should do it.
She ditches one more time,
that's it.
They'll flunk her
and throw her in the street.
- Forget it.
- What does that mean?
I mean, what the shit?
Please.
She doesn't care
if she never wakes up.
Morning, Annie.
What are you guys looking at?
Oh, Cod!
Oh, my gosh.
You're not gonna eat that?
- I am really hungry.
- That's disgusting.
Tomorrow you'll complain.
Let me rub it on your thighs.
You're such a dummy.
I think you're hilarious.
Cet your hands off there.
I'm gonna eat that.
I want that.
You'll eat it all.
You guys are
really pissed at me.
How's your head?
A whole bunch of people
just moved in.
- I'm gonna barf.
- You don't look sick.
I am. I got
a case of the munchies.
Anybody want to ditch
and go to the beach?
I got a hair appointment
at Saks.
- You said I couldn't ditch.
- Just Phys Ed.
What are you
doing with your hair?
Mom's after me to have
it chopped like Dorothy Hamill.
She doesn't dig me
wearing her clothes...
and having all the guys
think I'm mature.
Like they'd be coming onto me
and not looking at her.
Cet them to chop your head
instead, Deirdre.
That's pretty retarded,
considering who was sick...
all over that guy's car
last night.
- Who cares?
- He cares. Don't you?
I didn't even know him.
Besides, it was
this really gross Trans Am...
with some jerk-off dragon
blowing smoke over the hood.
- Was he cute?
- Who?
The geek in the car, geekaloid.
The only geek I know
is Randy Teratunian.
- So?
- You think he's hot.
- I do not.
- You want to go with him.
I never said
I want to go with him.
I said I want to ball him.
Excuse me.
Did you tell your dad that
you were staying at my house?
I gotta call him.
Cuess what?
For an elaborate change,
we are late again.
I don't believe this.
Come on.
I'm always getting tardies.
- Anybody seen my keys?
- Not again.
- Have you seen the keys?
- I don't know.
My keys!
Where'd you leave 'em?
Who knows?
It's not my house.
Can I listen to "Abbey Road"?
Whenever I need to mellow out,
I listen to "Abbey Road."
We're going to school, retardo.
When I'm 18,
I'm gonna shine that place.
- You're 16 now.
- Ain't that a bitch.
- Where are you going?
- To school.
Leave the keys.
Why?
Because
you can't take the truck.
- We'll talk about it later.
- How come?
We'll talk when
you come home from school.
That's unfair.
Come right back.
Can't we talk about it now?
No, please.
I don't want to start anything.
I don't want to have
to worry all day...
that you're going to pull
some big number later.
The school called.
Cod, I don't want to talk
about this now.
I know, Child Development.
You've been cutting.
It's just
Child Development, Mom.
It's so stupid,
you wouldn't believe it.
Can I have the keys, please?
I don't want to have a bad day.
It's