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Космический Джэм

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troops. It is for us to
choose a battlefield that affords us...
I got it.
Yes, Private Porkster?
How about we challenge them to a...
...spelling bee?
Say...
...we could have a bowling tournament.
Suffering succotash!
What's wrong with you?
Let's get a ladder...
...wait till the old lady's gone...
...and grab that little bird!
Whoa! Take a deep breath, Sly!
Okay, let's analyze the competition.
Now what are we looking at here?
We got a small race of invading aliens....
Small arms! Short legs!
Not very fast.
Tiny little guys.
Can't jump high.
We challenge you to a basketball game.
Basketball it is!
Basketball!
What is basketball?
-What's that?
-Beats me.
We didn't have that in school.
Lights!
Pardon me! Sorry.
Down in front!
An exhilarating team sport currently
growing rapidly in popularity...
...is basketball.
Unlike football and baseball,
only 5 men can play on a team.
It's a fast-paced, razzle-dazzle
game that requires quick wits...
...and even faster reflexes.
Here's how it's done professionally.
The National Basketball Association...
...featuring the best players in the world.
The best players in the world!
The best!
Excuse me. Oh, so sorry.
Excuse me.
Get off my nose!
Quiet, they're looking!
It's basketball!
Where?
Whoa! Now what?
-She's looking.
-Close it up.
Tightly.
You poked me again.
Sweetheart?
I thought you'd get better seats.
-This is the best I could get.
-This guy's doing something weird.
Just let me watch the game.
Barkley is killing us.
Someone's killing someone!
No. Seriously?
A killer!
Let me see!
There! That's the killer!
He's big.
He's good.
He's mine!
Go get him!
Come on! Get back on defense!
Let's go! Get back on d!
What are you doing?
Time out! Call time out!
What's wrong with you?
Let him in.
Open up!
Open!
He did it.
I got it! I got his talent!
Super.
-Sit down, Chuck.
-Man, I'm fine! I am fine!
I played you too much.
-I'm not tired!
-Get the doctor.
You all right?
You sure?
Come on, we're okay.
Come on, let's go.
Come on, Patrick. Showtime!
What's wrong with him?
In a shocking development, 5 NBA
players were put on the disabled list...
...in the last 24 hours, all suffering
from the same mysterious ailment...
...that affects the player's coordination.
I'll be home in a few days.
Put your mom on.
How you doing?
Watching TV?
What's going on?
-You gonna be all right?
-I'm ready, Coach.
Looks like I retired just in time.
I must go.
I'll call you later. Love you, bye.
It's open!
It's game time!
Lace up your Nikes.
Grab your Gatorade and we'll
get a Big Mac on the way.
Now we go to the Los Angeles Forum...
...where the Lakers are
refusing to take the court.
Get dressed.
We got a game in 5 minutes!
We're talking a huge fine.
We can't go in the locker room.
You heard what happened to
Barkley and Ewing. There's germs.
Cedric, that was in New York,
3,000 miles away.
Bacteria travels faster
than the speed of light.
Like "Invasion of the Body Snatchers. "
All right.
Dress in the hallway.
Okay, okay, which one of you
maroons has ever played basketball?
I have, Coach.
And there's an important question
I must ask you.
What do you think?
I'm partial to purple and gold.
It's better with my coloring.
Nice outfit, Daffy.
The little aliens say it's
their turn to use the court.
Sure, let the little pipsqueaks
knock themselves out.
Too bad you can't practice
getting taller, boys.
Hey, little pig!
I wet myself.
Time to play a little basketball.
These little pipsqueaks just
turned into superstars!
They're monsters!
Suffering succotash!
They're "monstars"!
Bye-bye.
I think we might need some help.
175 yards.
Okay, little fella. You my friend?
Or my enemy?
You are my friend. You are my ally.
You are my associate,
my personal assistant.
You are my weapon. You are leaving.
-Great shot.
-Nice shot.
You can stop posing now.
Good try.
Not bad.
-Something for you to shoot at.
Космический Джэм Космический Джэм

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