Two frogs on a bench.
No, no, I'm with the guy you just...
John! John!
I'm with him, though.
Rat in a dress.
Of course it is. Rat in a dress.
I'm just testing. I'm just testing.
Don't get up.
You've been absent some time.
Have you come here with relics to sell?
No, I'm out of that now.
I've been too busy.
Perhaps peddling forgeries has ended up
being bad for your health.
Midnite, Jesus...
...I thought the thing was authentic.
I see now.
Your health is bad for other reasons.
How long?
A few months, maybe a year.
I thought I heard thunder last night.
Must have been
Satan's stomach growling.
You're the one soul he'd come
up here himself to collect.
So I've heard.
Well, I am most certain
you did not come here...
...for a sympathetic shoulder
to cry on.
A demon just attacked me,
right out in the open on Figueroa.
They don't like you, John.
How many have you
deported back to hell?
Not some angry half-breed, Midnite.
A full-fledged demon, here, on our plane.
Clearly I do not have to remind you
that is impossible.
And yesterday I saw a soldier demon...
...trying to chew its way out
through a little girl.
Listen, John, demons stay in hell,
angels in heaven...
...the great dйtente
of the original superpowers.
Thanks for the history lesson, Midnite.
You've been a tremendous help.
Now...
...I need to use the chair.
John, forgetting the fact that it would
almost certainly kill you...
...you know I am neutral.
And as long as the balance
is maintained, I take no sides.
Before you were a bartender...
...you were one witch doctor
against, what, 30 Ashgar?
- And I...
- You were Constantine.
The John Constantine.
Once.
This isn't the usual game, I can feel it.
Something's coming.
Spooky.
Balthazar.
That expression alone
has made my entire night.
I'll make your night.
I'll deport your sorry ass right where
you stand, you half-breed shit!
You know the rules of my house.
While here, you will abide by them.
Johnny boy.
Word is you're on your way down.
Fresh meat.
Finger-licking good.
We have a meeting now, John.
What? I didn't catch that.
Welcome to my life.
Mr. Constantine.
- I saw you...
- I remember.
- And then I saw you at the...
- Regular kismet.
I'd like to ask you a few questions,
if that would be okay.
I'm not really in the talking mood
right now.
Well, maybe you could just listen then.
Please?
Always a catch.
My sister was murdered yesterday.
- Sorry to hear.
- Thanks.
She was a patient at Ravenscar.
She jumped off the roof.
Thought you said she was murdered.
Yeah, well, Isabel wouldn't
have taken her own life.
Yeah, what kind of mental patient
kills herself?
That's just crazy.
Look, I've heard your name
around the precinct.
I know the circles you travel in.
The occult, demonology, exorcisms.
Just before my sister was committed,
she became deeply paranoid.
She started talking about demons,
angels.
Now, I think someone got to her,
Mr. Constantine.
I think they brainwashed her
into stepping off that roof.
Some kind of legion or cult.
Sounds like a theory, detective.
Good luck.
I thought with your background,
you could at least...
...point me in the right direction.
Yeah, okay, sure.
It wasn't a suicide.
My sister was a devout Catholic.
Do you understand that?
If she took her own life...
Her soul would go straight to hell...
...where she'd be ripped apart over
and over in screaming, brutal agony...
...for all eternity. That it?
That about right?
Goddamn you.
Detective.
What if I told you that God
and the devil made a wager...
...a kind of standing bet
for the souls of all mankind?
I'd tell you to stay on your meds.
Humor me. No direct contact with
humans. That would be the rule.
- Just influence. See who would win.
- Okay, I'm humoring you.
- Why?
- Who knows.
- Maybe just for the fun of it. No telling.
- Oh, so it's fun.
It's fun when a man beats his wife to
death, when a mother drowns her baby.