believe.
You ought to spend a little less time
trying to impress people.
You might be better off.
All right, that's it.
I'm going to be right outside
those doors.
The next time I have to come in,
I'm cracking skulls.
(Screams) Fuck you!
Fuck.
(# Rock guitar music plays)
Wake up!
Who has to go to the lavatory?
- That's real intelligent.
- You're right.
It's wrong to destroy literature.
It's such fun to read.
And...
... Molay really pumps my nads.
Moliere.
(# Violin music plays)
I love his work.
Big deal. Nothing to do
when you're locked in a vacancy.
- Speak for yourself.
- Do you think I'd speak for you?
I don't even know your language.
- Hey, are you grounded tonight?
- I don't know.
My mum said I was
but my dad told me to blow her off.
There's a big party at Stubby's.
Should be pretty wild.
(Girl) Yeah?
(Andrew) Yeah. Are you going to go?
- I doubt it.
- How come?
If I do what my mother tells me not to,
it's because my father says it's OK.
There's a monster deal.
It's endless. Any minute, divorce.
- Who do you like better?
- What?
- Who do you like better?
- They're both screwed.
No, I mean,
if you had to choose between them.
I don't know.
I'd probably go live with my brother.
Neither gives a shit. They use me
to get back at each other.
Ha!
- Shut up!
- You're just feeling sorry for yourself.
- Nobody else would.
- You're breaking my heart.
- (Bender) Sporto?
- What?
- Do you get along with your parents?
- If I say yes, I'm an idiot. Right?
You're an idiot anyway.
But if you say you get along
with your parents, you're a liar, too.
You know something? If we weren't
in school, I'd waste you.
Can you hear this?
You want me to turn it up?
Hey, fellas, I mean...
I don't like my parents, either.
I don't get along with them.
Their idea of parental compassion
is just wacko, you know.
- Dork.
- Yeah?
You are a parent's wet dream, OK?
That's the problem.
I can see you getting bunged up that
they make you wear these clothes.
But face it,
you're a neo-maxi-zoom dweebie,
out to make yourself a better citizen.
Why do you have to insult everybody?
I'm being honest, asshole.
I would expect you
to know the difference.
- Well, he's got a name.
- Yeah?
- What's your name?
- Brian.
- See?
- My condolences.
What's your name?
What's yours?
- Claire.
- Claire?
- It's a family name.
- It's a fat girl's name.
Thank you. I'm not fat.
Not now, but I can see you
pushing maximum density.
I'm not sure if you know this,
but there are two kinds of fat people.
Those born to be fat and those
that were once thin but became fat.
When you look at them,
you can see that thin person inside.
You're going to get married, squeeze
out a few puppies and then...
Obscene finger gestures
from such a pristine girl.
I'm not that pristine.
Are you a virgin?
I'll bet you a million dollars
that you are.
Let's end the suspense.
(lmpersonates Billy Idol)
Will it be a white wedding?
- Why don't you just shut up?
- Have you kissed a boy on the mouth?
Have you ever been felt up?
Over the bra, under the blouse,
shoes off, hoping to God
your parents don't walk in?
Do you want me to puke?
Over the panties...
...no bra...
...blouse unbuttoned,
Calvins in a ball on the front seat,
past 1 1 :00 on a school night?
(Andrew) Leave her alone.
I said leave her alone.
- You gonna make me?
- Yeah.
You and how many of your friends?
Just me. Just you and me. Two hits.
Me hitting you, you hitting the floor.
Any time you're ready, pal.
I don't want to get into this
with you, man.
Why not?
Because I'd kill you.
It's real simple.
I'd kill you, your parents would
sue me and it would be a big mess.
I don't care enough about you
to bother.
Chicken shit.
Let's end this right now.
You don't talk to her,
you don't look at her
and you don't even think about her.
You understand me?
I'm trying to help her.
(Music plays from a radio)
Brian, how are you doing?