've done just about
everything there is, except
a few things that are illegal.
- I'm a nymphomaniac.
- Lie.
Are your parents
aware of this?
The only person I told
was my shrink.
What did he do
when you told him?
He nailed me.
Very nice.
I don't think that
from a legal standpoint...
what he did can be construed as rape
since I paid him.
- He's an adult.
- Yeah. He's married too.
Oh! Do you have any idea
how completely gross that is?
Well, the first
few times...
The first few times?
You mean, he did it
more than once?
Sure.
Are you crazy?
Obviously she's crazy
if she's screwing her shrink.
Have you ever done it?
I don't even have a psychiatrist.
Have you ever done it
with a normal person?
- Didn't we already cover this?
- You never answered the question.
Look. I'm not going to discuss
my private life with total strangers.
It's kind of a
double-edged sword, isn't it?
A what?
If you say you haven't,
you're a prude.
If you say you have,
you're a slut. It's a trap.
You want to,
but you can't.
And when you do, you wish
you didn't, right?
Wrong.
Or are you a tease?
She's a tease.
I'm sure.
Why don't you forget it?
You're a tease
and you know it.
All giris are teases.
- She's only a tease if what
she does gets you hot.
- I don't do anything!
- That's why you're a tease.
- Okay, let me ask you
a few questions.
I already
told you everything.
No.
Doesn't it bother you to sleep
around without being in love?
Don't you want respect?
I don't screw
to get respect.
That's the difference
between you and me.
It's not the only difference
I hope.
Face it, you're a tease.
I'm not a tease.
Sure you are.
Sex is your weapon.
You said it yourself.
You use it to get respect.
No, I never said that.
She twisted my words around.
- What do you use it for then?
- I don't use it, period!
Are you medically frigid
or is it psychological?
I didn't mean it that way.
You guys are putting words
into my mouth.
- Just answer the question.
- Why don't you
just answer the question?
Be honest.
No big deal.
Yeah, answer it.
- Just answer the question.
- Talk to us.
- Answer the question!
Don't be a jerk!
It's easy.
It's only one question.
No, I never did it!
I never did it either.
I'm not a nymphomaniac.
I'm a compulsive liar.
You are such a bitch!
You did that on purpose
just to fuck me over!
I would do it though.
If you love someone, it's okay.
I can't believe you.
You're so weird.
You don't say anything all day,
and then when
you open your mouth...
you unload all these
tremendous lies all over me.
You're just pissed off because
she got you to admit something
you didn't want to admit to.
Okay, fine.
But that doesn't make it
any less bizarre.
What's bizarre?
I mean, we're all
pretty bizarre.
Some of us are just
better at hiding it, that's all.
How are you bizarre?
He can't think for himself.
She's right.
Do you guys know what, uh,
what I did to get in here?
I taped Larry Lester's
buns together.
That was you?
- Yeah. You know him?
- Yeah, I know him.
Then you know how hairy
he is, right?
When they pulled
the tape off...
most of his hair came off
and some skin too.
Oh, my God.
The bizarre thing is...
is that I did it
for my old man.
I tortured this poor kid...
because I wanted him
to think that I was cool.
He's always going off about,
you know, when he was in school.
All the wild things
he used to do.
And I got the feeling that
he was disappointed that I never
cut loose on anyone, right?
So, I'm sittin'
in the locker room...
and I'm taping up my knee.
And Larry's undressing
a couple lockers down from me.
And... he's kind of...
he's kind of skinny.
He's weak.
And I started thinking
about my father...
and his attitude about...
about weakness.
And the next thing I knew...
I jumped on top of him