music)
(music)Down, down, down (music)
[Shattering]
[Boy]
Saturday, March 24, 1984.
Shermer High School,
Shermer, Illinois, 60062.
"Dear Mr. Vernon...
"We accept the fact that
we had to sacrifice a whole
Saturday in detention...
"for whatever it was
we did wrong.
"What we did was wrong...
"but we think you're crazy to make us
write an essay telling you who we are.
"What do you care?
"You see us
as you want to see us...
"in the simplest terms, with the most
convenient definitions.
"You see us as a brain...
"an athlete, a basket case...
"a princess...
"and a criminal.
"Correct?
"That's the way we saw each other
at 7:00 this morning.
We were brainwashed. '
I can't believe
you can't get me out of this.
[Sighs]
It's so absurd I have to
be here on a Saturday.
It's not like
I'm a defective or anything.
I'll make it up to you.
Honey, ditching class to go shopping
doesn't make you a defective.
Have a good day.
Is this the first time
or last time we do this?
Last.
Well, get in there and use the time
to your advantage.
Mom, we're not supposed to study.
We have to sit there and do nothing.
Well, mister, you figure out
a way to study.
Yeah.
Well, go.
Hey, I screwed around.
Guys screw around.
There's nothing wrong with that...
except you
got caught, sport.
Yeah, Mom already reamed me.
You want to miss a match?
You want to blow your ride?
Now, no school is gonna give
a scholarship to a discipline case.
[Tires Skid]
[Snickers]
Well, well.
Here we are.
I wanna congratulate you
for being on time.
Excuse me, sir?
I think there's been a mistake.
I know it's detention but, um,
I don't think I belong in here.
It is now 7:06.
You have exactly eight hours
and fifty-four minutes to
think about why you're here.
Ponder the error
of your ways.
[Hawks, Spits]
- [Gasps]
- You may not talk.
You will not move
from these seats.
And you...
will not sleep.
All right, people,
we're going to try something
a little different today.
We are going to write an essay...
of no less than a thousand words...
describing to me
who you think you are.
Is this a test?
And when I say essay,
I mean essay.
I do not mean a single word
repeated a thousand times.
- Is that clear, Mr. Bender?
- Crystal.
Good. Maybe you'll learn
something about yourself.
Maybe you'll even decide
whether or not
you care to return.
Uh, I can answer
that right now, sir.
- That'd be no for me, 'cause...
- Sit down, Johnson.
Thank you, sir.
My office is right across
that hall. Any monkey business
is ill-advised.
Any questions?
Yeah. I got a question.
Does Barry Manilow know
that you raid his wardrobe?
I'll give you the answer to that question,
Mr. Bender, next Saturday.
Don't mess with the bull,
young man, you'll get the horns.
That man is
a brownie hound.
[Clicking Noise]
[Clicking Continues]
[Clicking Continues]
[Clicking Stops]
You keep eating your hand,
you're not going to be hungry for lunch.
[Loud Click]
[Spits]
I've seen you before,
you know.
[Under Breath]
Who I think I am.
Who are you?
Who are you?
I am a walrus.
[Blows]
It's the shits, huh?
- [Nervous Chuckle,
Clears Throat]
- [Paper Rustling]
[Music][music] [Humming]
I can't believe
this is really happening to me.
Oh, shit!
What are we supposed to
do if we have to piss?
Please.
If you got to go,
you got to go.
[Zipper Unzips]
[Grunts]
Oh, my God.
You're not
urinating in here, man.
Don't talk. Don't talk.
- It makes it crawl back up.
- You whip it out, you're dead
before the first drop hits.
You're pretty sexy
when you get angry.
[Growls]
Hey, homeboy, why don't you
go close that door.
We'll get the prom queen
impregnated.
Hey. Hey.!
- What?
- If I lose my temper,
you're totaled, man.
- Totally?
- Totally.
Why don't you shut up?
Nobody here's interested.
Really. Buttface.
Hey, sporto, what'd you do
to get in here?
Forget to wash your jock?
Uh, excuse me, fellas,
I think we