Welcome to the premiere
of "cleaver,"
The story of a young man
who goes to pieces
Then manages
to find himself again.
( Scattered laughter )
In all seriousness, however,
I'd like to say a few words.
Much like a child,
a film has many parents,
That is to say
many individuals
Who act like parents,
Or that by aversion,
The film is their baby.
I, as an executive producer,
Am one of those individuals.
Two more examples
are here with me tonight.
Ladies and gentlemen,
my Co-E.P.
Christopher Moltisanti
And our director
Morgan Yam.
Yeah, hey!
I Know you're all psyched
to see the movie,
So I'm not gonna give
a big speech here.
I Just wanna give a shout out
To the man who without him
This whole thing would be
impossible. Where is he?
Anthony Soprano, everybody.
- Man: hey!
- Man #2: all right, Ton'!
Christopher: once he came
on board, the whole thing
fell together.
And all the other
investors, too.
Plus my wife Kelli
and our new baby.
I Love you guys.
Okay, then. Cell phones off
And hope you
like the movie.
( Eerie music playing )
You don't know what?
He's a fucking rat!
- But we can't really prove it.
- You're gonna argue with me?
Frankie: no, it's just,
I mean, he's practically
like your own son.
I'm sorry, Sally.
I think we oughta
give him a pass.
I didn't ask you
what you fucking think.
Motherfucking
son of a...
- That's you.
- No.
- It is.
- You find where
this pezzonovante is
And you bring him
to the butcher shop.
They're gonna find pieces
of this kid all over
fucking canarsie.
( Cell phone rings )
- Yeah.
- I'm sure he's fine, sweetie.
You gotta relax.
But for Michael not to have called
and the wedding's in two days.
Who, the guatemalan?
Paulie:
what time is he
gonna be there?
I hate to say this,
but the truth is he ain't
good enough for you.
I mean, he's a good kid.
What you need is a man.
Paulie:
tell him to put it
in the trunk
Woman: shh!
You know how long
I've been waiting
to do that?
( Dominique moaning )
Dad, that was neat
at the end, the creepy
figurine and the crucifix.
I'm glad you caught that,
Alexandra. Very observant.
The sacred and the propane.
There's a ton of people
wearing t-shirts here.
I told you.
Is it so horrible
you look nice?
I'm starving.
I need to eat
something already.
I asked if you wanted popcorn.
- You want me
to make you a plate?
- Yeah.
- What?
- What? I'll give you what.
Come here.
The fucking boss
down in the cellar,
White bathrobe--
where'd you get that?
I don't know.
Artistic choice.
Seriously though,
I'm very proud.
Whatever else happens,
you made a movie, Christopher.
Nobody could
take that away.
A hundred years from now,
we're dead and gone,
People will be watching
this fucking thing.
You know how much
Imperia vodka
I scored just
From this
party alone?
I had a couple of cases
put down in your car, too.
Look at this--
the family of early man.
Great, thank you.
Carmine: hey, Danny,
come here.
Take a picture
with us. Phil Leotardo.
Larry and I hung out
at the set. I don't
know if you know this,
But the actors,
they don't make up
what they say.
- It's true. Even De Niro,
the girl told me.
- The script girl.
- Lorenzo Barese.
- Hey, how you doing, my friend?
You getting enough to eat?
Bryan Rawley,
u.s. Marshal's service.
Terms of your bail confine
you to your home, sir.
- Say hello to Danny?
- Yeah.
- Larry's wife: Larry!
- call the fucking lawyer!
- Larry!
- Rawley: excuse us, excuse us.
- Excuse us, excuse us.
- Leave him alone, you bastard!
Jesus Christ.
There's Danny's manager.
I Better go talk to him.
There he is.
So how was Florida?
Hot and sticky,
like my balls.
I spoke to Ginny.
She's a wreck.
John's in the cancer ward.
She's down the road
in some fucking motel.
Poor prick.
Prison's not bad enough,
fucking lung cancer to boot.
Tell me about it--
quintuple bypass,
Then the infection,
Seven months
of