i'll give it back to the bank
before i turn it
into a fucking ihop.
just send the waiter
over here.
you wanna help me so
badly? try paying your tab.
- excuse me?
- that little roast you and the waste management people
threw for dick barone
when he got sick--
40 fucking garbagemen
from around the country.
of course you paid
pat cooper.
you paid
the entertainment.
afternoon. we're looking
for arthur bucco.
- that's me.
- dave kloski. this is jim hollings.
american express? funny,
i had you two for cops.
in a past life. actually
we're here to investigate
some recent irregularities in charge
activity here at nuevo vesuvio.
"nuovo."
irregularities?
well, there is credit card fraud
going on in this restaurant.
- that's impossible.
- based on cardholder disputes,
we show nine hits in this locus
that precede fraudulent activity.
- what does that mean?
- people's card numbers were copied
and those numbers were used to rack up
thousands of dollars in phony charges.
wait, you think i'm ripping off
my own customers? that's insane.
were these meals
actually served?
shit.
councilman carillo?
that was just two weeks ago.
so you understand
we have to suspend
the use of our cards here
pending an investigation.
suspend?
you're cutting me off?
what's going on?
they're from amex.
no more charges.
- what?!
- someone's stealing!
guys, this is like 30%
of my business here
and i can't fucking
spare it right now!
artie, please don't curse.
the minute you use profanity,
you give them the high moral
ground to do whatever they please.
we need copies
of your reservations
and a list of anyone who has
access to customer plastic.
i'm just asking, jay.
well, tell me again.
why am i meeting
with these chaps?
oh! oh, bollocks, jay.
uh-- bollocks!
oh, please.
anyway, we appreciate
that your time
is less than limited,
so i'll cut to the chase.
log line-- "the ring"
meets "the godfather."
wiseguy-- murdered,
i guess you could say--
seeks revenge on the man
who ordered it.
you would play that man.
which man?
who are we kidding here?
you're ben kingsley.
you'd play the boss.
i heard this idea--
i call jay and i say,
"sir ben kingsley,
no one else."
well, you know, as ever,
it's script-dependent.
oh, we got a sensational
writer-- jt dolan.
i'm embarrassed.
i haven't heard of him.
he's from tv-- "nash
bridges," "hooperman,"
and "law & order,
the s.u.v."
so there's a script?
we wanted to surmise
your interest
and then tailor the part
to your specificities.
no one plays a tough, ruthless,
hard-hearted prick like you do.
you got it down,
trust me.
i take that
as quite a compliment.
sure.
"sexy beast"?
now, we do have
a shortlist of directors.
we could go a-list
down the horror genre--
ridley, tobe hooper.
or we could try to find the
next james wan. he did "saw."
did you see that?
fuckin' brutal.
betty?
it's ben.
how are you?
what on earth
are you doing out here?
oh, i don't know.
oh.
gentlemen, allow me to
introduce miss lauren bacall.
lauren, this is carmine
tazzi and christopher...
...moltisanti.
huge fan.
- thank you.
- "lupertazzi."
you were great in "the
haves and have-nots."
oh yes, dear howard hawks. thank you.
i'm a presenter at one
of these award shows--
showest,
some bullshit.
oh, i did one of those years ago,
after "death and the maiden," i think.
they do take good care
of you, though.
i have shiatsu
in about 10 minutes.
- wow.
- but let's catch up.
absolutely.
great to see you.
- thank you.
- as always.
- so nice meeting both of you.
- enjoy your success.
uh, that reminds me,
i have a scheduling problem.
this meeting was last
minute and i'm supposed to be
at the luxury lounge
at 2:00.
yeah, but we haven't even
gotten to the particulars yet.
we'll walk with you.
i think this is
going very well.
you okay? you seem
a bit distracted.
it's fucking sir ben kingsley
is all. lauren