you get all that?
Yes, I got it...
Put me through to Batumi, 3-47-57, please.
Tell them to fetch Alec.
No, I won't. Piss off you bloody theif.
Is something wrong?
It's alright, only the Earth is so far way.
Instead of five, the gravitsapa needs
seven minutes to warm up.
So let's go and get the tsapa ready
for the gravitsapa.
Astronauts! Which is the tsapa here?
This rusty nail, my friend.
Yeah! Everything here's rusty!
And that's the most rusty.
Are you quite crazy?
Oh, mama-mama.
Lucy and Manohin moved, and we need...
Uncle Vova!
The match is in his cap!
Strange, that they should fly off now.
Why strange? They've got a match,
can buy a gravitsapa,
and know the Tenture of the Earth!
Comrade Etsilop! Comrade Etsilop!
They've stolen our things!
Arrest them!
Arrest them!
Forty Chatls.
We've no chatls.
Everything is with the tour guide.
And the violin they took is somebody else's.
And when they were
in front of the video of PJ,
They didn't say Koo!
Why are you staring at me?
Why are you staring at me?
If your bosses find out that you knew
of this and did nothing,
You'll be bloody trankluted! Get it?
I didn't do nothing!
I pressed the button straight away!
Skripach is a witness.
All guards!
Bring a wheeled prison tub, here
There's nothing in it.
Open it.
Show me.
It's vinegar.
It's none of your business.
The Patsak will be tranklukated,
The Chatlanian will spend his life
in a tub lying on nails.
Oh, brothers, brothers. Fellow Patsaks.
Tell the truth, how I squatted.
How the Chatlanian pressed the take off button.
Shut the fuck up!
Uncle Vova, please...
Shut up! Parasite!
Shut up yourself!
Vova, friend! Gedevan Alexanich!
Don't listen to him!
Tell them that it was him!
He didn't squat!
No...
And I'll give the pepelats to you.
Uncle Vova! The pepelats is mine! Mine!
Quiet! Calm down!
...Let me think.
Nobody insulted anyone...
They all squatted, like monkeys.
I was confused.
And I brought the Ktse.
What Ktse?
The match, which you took out...
from the hat.
There wasn't a match. There wasn't.
Uncle Vova, what's the matter with you?
Forgive me, I forgot. There was no match.
Never.
Life imprisonment for both
in a tub without nails.
As to the fine.
500 chatls, 250 per place.
Thank you!
Patsak! Glue the violin
and sing the song!
Skripach! You work the bandura!
Friends! We were joking about the violin.
We were happy to reach you!
Hi!
On the river, on the river, on yonder bank..
Earthman, hello!
I can assure you,
we will return to your planet.
Greetings from
Vladimir Nikolaevich Mashkov,
builder from Moscow,
and Gedevan Alexidse from Batumi,
who are the first to set foot
on these villainous sands
established in this backyard.
Brother Patsak, flip again your cover.
You have some water there.
Well give me something for it.
Maybe sometime I can show you
one of those who knew me and is still living.
Ask him if I stole a match...
There! Looks like new!
There's still a little bit.
It happens...It will be...
High calorie?
Earthmen! How could it be so difficult?
I could hardly find you.
I got my memory back.
Here's your sock, thank you.
If you want, I can return you to the Earth.
I found out your number in the tenture.
Only hurry! For one second here
is half a year there.
Then I have a suggestion...
We transport to the Earth now,
Procure some matches,
Shoot back here and sell them,
Bail out our friends,
We go to Moscow, and you go home.
I can't. I've only three charges.
Well that's okay.
Enough times to go there
back here and home again.
And me?
Listen, friend...
Well work it out, yes or no,
I'll count to three... One... Two...
Wait a minute. Take my suggestion.
It's my fault they are in prison.
And my little son has already grown
an adult's beard!
Two and a half!
Two and a half!
I..I can't do it.
Three.
Oh! Who needs it all?
Tsak-schmak! It's all crap! And we...
Where did you get that from? Eh?
It was laying