've landed...
- Landed where?
Hanut
What's "Hanut"?
- The planet where I was given birth
- Me too
- It's night
- Now it's always night here
- Put this on
- What for?
- There's no frickin' air here
- So how do you live here?
Nobody has lived
here for years
Plukans tranklukated the planet
while we were on tour
Why?
- Because we didn't get them first
- Why did you want to get them?
They were hovering
all over us!
- And all perished?
- Of course!
Vovka, I have a proposition
- This planet now costs peanuts
-  63 chatles
We sing 'Mama' around
the galaxy for a month...
...and the planet is ours!
- Another month and we'll buy the air
-  93 chatles
Everyone who has no air
will rush straight here
The air belongs to us
They will crawl before us,
and we will spit on them
Why?
- To enjoy the pleasure!
- How can anyone enjoy that?
Heh... He's just too young
Half of the planet could be yours,
the other half ours. Deal?
This is very tempting
But guys, we need to
go back to Earth
Hurry up, the grocery
closes in half an hour
Vovka, relax
Look!
We are here
Earth is there
- And this is Alpha
- On Alpha they turn us into cactuses
Earth, my dear fellow,
is in Anti-Tenture
There is no way we can
get there. You see?
How so?
That's how it is
It's just my luck, really
A Pepelatz cannot
make it to Earth!
And stop blabbing!
Okay?
Let's go! We have
a planet to divide
Did you learn about
this in the planetarium?
Yes, my friend
That's why you
stole the match?
- Of course!
- Uncle Vova, they are lying!
Don't believe them!
Take us to Earth, now!
No, Gedevan
They are not lying
They'd crawl across the Universe on their
stomachs for a chance to get some matches
Vovka, it's a
silly thing to do
This air has
only 2% oxygen
Gedevan...
Don't do this, you are young
You should live!
Maybe things will change
Fiddler isn't needed, Uncle Vova
Hey, Patzak!
You'll kick the bucket
in a minute, so...
For once, tell the truth!
You could have let that freak
transport you. Why didn't you go?
What did you want?
Pink pants?
PG's swimming pool?
Tell us,
what did you want?
Gedevan! Dear friend!
You tell me
You can trust me!
We are two of a kind
My mother is Georgian
Well, used to be...
[Both speaking in Georgian]
He says his mother used
to be a local Georgian
Uef! You do what you want...
...but I will take
them to Alpha! Koo!
- Kyou!!!
- And you, lousy Chatlan...
...put on a tzak!  And squat
when you speak to a Patzak!
Hanut, my dear fellow,
is a Patzak planet!
Repeat it again
You eject us onto Alpha while
trying to slow down in Alpha's orbit
- To slow down, my foot!
- Don't interrupt!
Go on, my friend
On Alpha,  when they
transport us back to Earth
we must hold on to the bottom of
the space-transportation gadget
and the gadget will be
transported with us
On Earth we must buy you
four bags full of matches
Go on, my friend
How many times do
we have to go over it?
Let's move, shall we
Because of you, I will
end up in a pot forever!
And you are too lazy
to open your mouth!
Guys! Brothers!
My dear good friends
Let's move. Or at least
close the door
I can't stand the sight
of you any longer
I'm sick of it all
So long, my friend
And we're flying!
Brake!
Brake!
Brake!!!
How am I supposed to brake when you've
drunk all our braking fluid! An alkie!
Can't be good for him
- Turn off your antlers
- They can't be turned off
- Take them off then
- They might break
I think we've landed...
That's how it was the last time
Okay...
Put on your gas mask
- Without a tzak?
- They'll cope
Earth!
(singing) "On the river, on the river
on the other river ba... "
No
This isn't Earth
How do you do!
We are Patzaks from planet Earth
Who are you?
This is planet Alpha
Tell Decont here,
your coordinates
and she will transport you
back to the starting point
Have a nice day
Please tell me
your planet number
013 in Tenture
It is here ...